I can't bring myself to do it.

I've only told three people that I'm gay, only one did I plan on and I can't bring my self to tell mom let alone my father, who is what I can infer is pretty homophobic and wouldn't talk to me for over a month if I were to tell him. I tried telling my mom while driving home from my grandparents house, I knew I could it felt like the time was right she should know but u had the worst feeling ever in my stomach to the point where I almost passed out from being so nervous. Even to tell another one of my close friends is almost unforeseeable, but it needs to be done I know how much it will benefit me from the support and freedom from secrecy from being in the closet but it scares me. I'm ready to though I think it feels right but I'm so afraid of what the people who don't support will say. And that's a dumb thought I never care about what people think of me, but this is that one thing that for some reason I care what people think when I shouldn't. Ughh I just don't wanna do this its such a daunting task but it has to get done so I can live my life freely. Anyways that I guess sums up my thoughts any feedback is nice as the three people that know I'm gay aren't the supporting type they just kinda accepted in gat and that's that and they like to poke fun at me for it but I like that so ya I'm gonna stop typing. :smilewave