Open Marriage

It depends on your reasons for opposing it. If you dislike being with a married woman based on your Christian understanding of marriage, I'd recommend staying away. However, if you would only hesitate to be with her because you wouldn't want the deception and sneaking around, I'd say go for it. There is none of that, so you're worrying for nothing.

Hope this helps.

 

I think that the age difference and her having a primary relationship with someone else are both things that give you less-than-equal power in the potential relationship. You would have a better experience, over all, with someone who can give you an equal partnership.

The important thing about an age difference, too, isn't the number of years as much as where you are, respectively, in your lives. Her being a married woman indicates to me that she is almost certainly at a really different stage of her life than you are.

And how would this relationship fit in to what you want in life? Would it just be a short-term thing? If you are as into each other as you say you are, how is that going to end? Or do you intend to continue as her secondary, not-legally-recognized partner indefinitely? What kind of relationship are you looking for in your life, long-term? Will this satisfy you, or would you rather have a more traditional, monogamous partnership or marriage?

You say she "sees you as a woman." Does that mean you haven't told her you're a guy? If you intend to transition in the future, what will that mean for the relationship? If you HAVE told her that you identify as male, why doesn't it bother you that she doesn't accept the way you define yourself?

If she is just looking for a short-term thing, I think it's very likely that you would end up getting more attached than she does, and want more from the relationship than she will ultimately be willing to give you.

Basically, I think there are all kinds of problems with this idea.

 

I personally wouldn't do it but its entirely up to you.
Good luck

 

I think Ianthe has valid points.
I do know you were identifying as lesbian which maybe why you are fine having a lesbian relationship again, which is exactly what this is.
As a Christian myself I would not take a woman from her husband cuz regardless its them as one not us as three, polygamy.
But personally I wouldn't want them to be a couple and me the other man to satisfy her sexual appetite for a teenage boy....
Oh wait!
She's after teenage girls!
ewwww!!!
I'm a man, look like a girl or boy...but I am a man!
When women who are bisexual or lesbians so far three of them have told me they see me as a woman i am not only disgusted at their perverted lust thoughts of me, i am angry. Why? Cuz i told them im a man! Many accept me as a man or transman or some think intersexed and i wont argue with them...so why accept the flaming lustful wordly desires a lesbian has for other women?

You keep asking is it ok as if we giving the nod of approval can allow you to burn your barriers.
But we can't.
There are serious emotional issues you don't deserve she is going to put on you.
But more important, you seem to want to go against something in your spirit telling you no...and im not going to go against that.
You know right from wrong cuz its on your heart...do what you choose, the responsibility is yours. Welcome to adulerhood.

 

I guess it'll depend on what you want from it. If you're hoping for some hot sex, or perhaps a friend-with-benefits-type situation, I don't see the problem. But if you're hoping for a longterm capital-R-Relationship - as in dating, building a life together, sharing a home - this is a terrible idea.

Lex

 

Speaking from experience I have a few misgivings myself but when I see it as nothing more than a situation where both sides benefit either emotionally or sexually and the third party is fine with it/doing it themselves, I see nothing wrong and neither should you. If it is a moral issue then it is best to trust your instincts and stop. Getting more involved in someone who is married could lead to pain on your behalf. Not to mention it could be stopping you finding someone more willing to give you the relationship you need.

Ultimately, if you are happy, your lover is happy and her husband is happy then there is nothing wrong. Just tread carefully and all should be fine.

 

I'd say it depends on why you're uncomfortable with the situaition. Considering you claim you're genderqueer I dont really see how you could be so lenient on the subject of sexuality but so strict on something like marriage.

So ill just tell you the way I see it.
If the marriage is open, and there really are no feelings of jeolousy or resent and you two love/are into eachother.. who cares? It'd be different if you were malicious and decieving eachother.. but as I understand it the fact that the marriage is open means that it's open for people to come and go. You are one of those people who are allowed in.. so whats the big deal? haha

btw I just read your age and I agree with the above poster. 5 years may not seem like that big of a deal, but without knowing you i'd say watch your step very closely. Sometimes it may seem cool to be with older people, but the older they are the more problems they often times have. Youre young and you dont need that.