For me, new years is always a solemn occasion. I consider it to be the worst day of the year, and it always gets me down. I feel incredibly alone in the world, especially, on new years. I spend my new years hiding in my room while my parents, more drunk than usual, scream at each other, while failing to make a nice dinner. Then they pass out on the couch, and I go down around 11:30, turn off the TV, eat a microwave meal, do the dishes, and cry myself to sleep. This happens every year, and it is the most depressing day out of the 365. I absolutely hate myself, and being alive, today. I consider suicide, but someone has to be there for my brother, and my parents sure aren't. I think about all the things I failed at last year, and I can't help but feel awful. I feel unbelievably lonely, right now. :tears:
(*hug*) I'm so sorry. I don't have any advice, but just know that someone's thinking of you and pulling for you. (*hug*)
Hey man, you're not alone. I sometimes find New Year's to be depressing. It's that point in life when you're like, "Damn, it's been a year and I still don't have my sh*t together?" You're young, and things will change. You'll meet new people and grow as a person. I know I did. Don't ever consider suicide. Not only is that the most selfish thing to do, but it's not even rock bottom. It's not even on the scale. There's been times when I wanted to just go away or fall asleep and not have to deal with daily life. But I'm so glad that I got passed it. What I did was I thought really hard and tried to think of something that was worth living for. Some days I had no idea what I had to live for. But there's always that sliver of humanity inside you that keeps telling you not to give up, and that's what you have to live for. That tiny ounce of wanting something better in life is what you have. Deep down you know that things can get better, and that all you have to do is keep going. It was very hard for me, but I did it. Have you ever considered seeing a psychiatrist? I know that idea may seem a bit iffy to some, but that's what I did. I suffer from OCD, PTSD, and depression. It's a mix of dealing with crap growing up and having a chemical imbalance in my brain. Now I take medication and I don't even need to talk to my psychiatrist anymore. I'm able to work out my own problems. I promise you, things will get better. Just keep going.
I liked your other advice, but I'm going to have to disagree with suicide being selfish. I know this is not what you're implying, but when people say that suicide is a selfish act it sounds like you're dismissing their pain and are more focused on the pain they will leave behind to their loved ones.
I hate New Years too. I actually had plans this year but my friends ditched me last minute so I spent it depressed . All my friends seem to be ditching me lately.
Sorry it's so bad. Maybe you can try to make plans to be with friends next year, to get away from your parents?
I'm sorry your parents have put you in this situation. Please hang in there. Your life will not always be this way, you are already so close to adulthood and to having more control over your life. And as an older sibling myself, kudos for wanting to protect your brother.
Thank you. That means a lot to me. I really worry about being a poor older brother. I do much better at being a younger brother, and my little brother doesn't like me very much, but I can't let my parents get to him.
im sorry that your life is mess up right now but things will always get better bro and i think you really man for helping you bro's out all thought the problem ill pray for your family and inbox me if you need to talk my dad had the same issue when he was a kid
It was not said in a way to dismiss his pain. I'm actually focused more on his well-being than anything. I still believe it is selfish to a degree. You're choosing a route that no one should ever take. Leaving behind those who care about you is selfish. There are so many other options. That's just like someone who chooses to take drugs to escape the pain. It's a destructive path. It leaves people wondering why and what they could have done to prevent it. But I do understand where you're coming from. I've contemplated suicide before, and there were times when I thought there was no hope for me. Suicide usually seems like the only escape from so much pain. But the OP even stated that he has his brother to look after. That alone is something to live for. So leaving him behind would be selfish. Suicide may stop his pain, but it's the start of someone else's. But that's just my opinion. To the OP: Your well-being means a lot to us all, even if we don't know you. Just by reading your post, we all feel somewhat involved in your pain. My heart truly goes out to you. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, because I've seen it. There were days when I'd have panic attacks and feel so dull and just barely have the strength to keep going. But I promise, if you keep going, you will be so glad you did. EDIT: When I re-read what I wrote, it does seem like I am dismissing your pain and focusing more on the pain your loved ones will feel. To be honest, I am trying to make you see it as more of a motivation than anything. I guess I'm somewhat negotiating with you, because I actually do care. I've been there so many times. Your well-being is the first priority in what I'm saying. You have a long life to live, and I don't want you to feel like ending it is your best option.
But its just as selfish, if not more so, of the people who push him towards something like that. OP: It sucks. Hang in there, it will get better. I get this, but with other holidays. I don't know if this would be an option for you or not, it depends on your personal situation, but perhaps you could talk to your parents to get help for the drinking, or to at least drink less. As I said above, their behaviour is selfish, and not just because its making you feel suicidal. They're completely disregarding everyone but themselves, and they need to realize that.
"OP: It sucks. Hang in there, it will get better. I get this, but with other holidays. I don't know if this would be an option for you or not, it depends on your personal situation, but perhaps you could talk to your parents to get help for the drinking, or to at least drink less. As I said above, their behaviour is selfish, and not just because its making you feel suicidal. They're completely disregarding everyone but themselves, and they need to realize that." I've tried talking to them. It just makes them mad, and that's much worse. They do something like this on every holiday, but new years is always the worst
I agree. But I was referring to his brother and other people that he may know. It truly is selfish of them to refuse to see the pain they are causing you. Try to find someone you can talk to, like a psychologist at your school. Maybe there's a way to get you and your brother out of that house.
