I really want to come out to my parents soon, so I have writen them a letter that I want to give to them. I would be great if a few people could just read it and give me some advice as how to improve it, or what should be changed, etc. I wasn't quite sure where to put this, but since I guess I need advice I put it in the 'Support and Advice' section. My New Years Resolution is to comeout to my parents. Thank you Dear Mom and Dad, Over the past few years, I have been noticing that I am very different from most of the girls I go to school with. I am proud to be different, and who I am. I am also blessed to have such wonderful parents like you who support me and help me. Recently, though, I have been quite troubled. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but I am not straight. Many children, including myself, have grown up with great expectations to get married and live a healthy life with kids. It is hard for me to let go of the dream to meet a man who I fall in love with, but ever since I was 12 years old I have know that I would rather spend my life with a woman whom I love. I am a lesbian. This mind set has troubled me much over that past few years. Especially when I arrived at High School. It has really been a challenge finding out who I am, particularly because a lot of the time I feel I have a lack of good friends to talk to. At this point in my life I have only told two people. [name] from [camp], and [sister], who has helped me a lot. Still, I feel like an alien to this world. Many times, especially during my 9th grade year I could not fall asleep due to the fact that I was worrying so much. I would stay up until 12:00 or 12:30 before falling asleep after much tossing and turing. Making my concentration limited, and my days miserable. I though that keeping active and joining activities would keep my mind off of my troubles, but it really just put more stress on me. In 9th grade, I started to slack off a little. I almost stopped caring and when I attempted to work, I though to myself, ‘Why even try.’ I didn’t want this mind set, but I struggled from having it take over me. One of the hardest parts for me has been finding where I fit it. I have been trying to learn myself in this time period, more than I have been trying to learn my school subjects. I have been doing research, and found a scale you may be familiar with, called the Kinsey Scale. For the moment, I can only label myself so well, due to my lack of experience with both genders. Below is where I find myself. {Here is a picture of the Kinsey scale chart and a bracket at about 5.5-6} However, this ‘rating’ may change as I grow older, the bracket may move left or right as I mature, and develop more experience. The reason I am telling you this now is because I could not stand living a lie while I am around you. It got to the point when I couldn’t stand just handling this on my own. I didn’t tell you earlier because I was still struggling with myself and I didn’t want anyone else to doubt me. I really want to be a successful person, but when I cannot concentrate it is extremely hard. There is one quote by Zig Ziglar that I really like, “The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now.” I have found that ‘right now’ all I want is to figure out who I am. But ultimately what I want most is to live a life full of joy and wonder, to learn and grow in knowledge, get a good education, and eventually pass all of this on to my kids. I want to work hard, and be regarded as smart, athletic, kind, passionate, musical, etc. But as I get distracted by another aspect of the life I live, I seem to be loosing some of those things. I seem to get depressed. When I am around others, I try to be happy so that nobody worries about me. So far I have been mostly successful. I love you so much and want to be the best I can be. I think that if more people know who I really am, that I will be more comfortable being myself around others, and hopefully will be less preoccupied with my identity as gay. I hope you know that I love you both so much, and am extremely fortunate. To this day, Dad’s words from when I was seven years old still ring in my head: “I would be fine with it if any of you turned out to be that way.....” I also remember that the rest of that sentence was “...... but I highly doubt that will happen.” I really wanted to tell you so that I can talk to you about it, because clearly I have been having some trouble accepting myself. I also thought that I should tell you before I start telling people at school. I want to join the Gay Straight Alliance Club, so I can use this trait of mine to hopefully project positive attitudes around the school. I will always love you. Sincerely, [my name]
i love the letter. it's true and sincere. your finally coming out to them...in a truthful matter. i hope all goes well i did read all of it , im a naturally fast reader , i got it from my mom haha
I thought that was an amazingly thought out letter and I wish I had done something closer to that. It isolates what you want to say while broadening the subject at the same time so it is very open and allows movement and details on you and how you feel. I think this is a great letter! Good Luck ^.^
Wow. That was amazing. It shows that you're very sincere and truthful! it's very well thought out too!
I don't think you need to apologize for not telling them earlier. Otherwise, I think that's an excellent letter. When do you plan to give it to them?
Your letter is clear and well-written. If that's how you feel, then how can we say that it's wrong? Don't change a thing. Good luck, and I hope that coming out to your parents helps you to feel whole.
I think I want to give it to them when I am not at home for like one night. I'll probably put it somewhere they will find it. Not that I am worried about their reaction, they have always supported LGBT people, I just want them to have some peaceful time to think about it. Thank you for the imput!
