So I like a guy who only recently realized he was gay. We made out and touched, but nothing more. He told me our short encounter was the best and the most aroused he's ever been and has never been as attracted to any girl. He tells me he likes me, but is trying to fight it and is really confused (questioning if he's really gay and not bi or straight (he has had difficulty getting aroused with girls in the past)). And he is right now in denial and says he doesn't want to be gay, because it'll make life more difficult. He intends on potentially living alone in denial. He doesn't want to see me right now, because he'll get urges if he sees me. I'm upset, because one moment he'll tell me he likes me but then later says he's not ready and to just give him time. I know he doesn't mean to lead me on, because that's not his nature and he is just really confused, but it does get my hopes up. I do want to be with him, but don't think the timing is right with him still struggling to accept himself and me already out of the closet. I don't know if I can still be friends with him (possibly seeing him with some other guy or a girl in the future and knowing we could have been something)(am I being selfish?) but I want to help him accept himself and not live his life unhappy, in denial. I've given him the pep talks, accept yourself, be strong, confident. Should I just leave him alone to figure it out himself? Maybe I'm overwhelming him with all the talks and it's like I'm forcing him to accept himself? If any of you have personal experiences liking someone in the closet/ in denial, what was it like and how'd it end (get together, how did the person manage to accept it, if at all)? Sorry if this post wasn't articulate, just feeling a mix of emotions.
I'm in the same position you are I ended up having a great night of sex with my roommate she has never had sex with a girl before I was her first she told me she used to make out with girls and liked it while with her ex she has been married to a guy before and also had a child with a guy before of 9 years I like her a lot and worst part is we're roommates but she is just not accepting herself right now and I feel in denial a week after we had sex she got herself into a relationship with a guy she met at work the relationship had gone full speed and hasn't been slowing down she already told him she loves him and vise versa, I'm hoping she comes to her senses and they break up but it may be a long process for her as it prob is for your guy just think of how long it took you to be comfortable to come to terms with it and not freak out about it around other people its hard because I'm sure your guy has feelings too but it's not an easy process and sometimes people would rather live the heterosexual lifestyle because its easier than to go through life always coming out that's why more people have to be honest with themselves and tell people I have so many friends still living in the closet and its sad and upsetting that people just can't love who they love they have to fake it and then the people they love end up getting hurt
