homosexual but hetroromantic

It depends on what you want out of your relationships. I take it you're not attracted to women sexually? If sex is still important to you, you could try an open relationship with a girl. If it isn't, then it's perfectly possible to have a relationship without sex. Or if you're not interested in the romantic aspects of a relationship (which is also valid) you could have a relationship with a guy. There are plenty of other options, too. It's okay to explore in order to determine what works best for you. Unfortunately for those who don't quite fit into gay, straight, or bi, completely traditional relationships are harder to negotiate, but that doesn't mean you have to do without ever having a romantic and/or sexual relationship of any kind.

 

I'll be completely honest...It is incredibly, incredibly rare to find a woman who would be willing to be in an open relationship with a (predominantly homosexual) man.
You'll have better luck finding a man whom you're both emotionally and physically attracted to.

 

Have you ever really given a guy a chance? It's possible that you might just have a hang-up on being attracted to guys that keeps you from letter yourself get close to one.

 

If someone isn't romantically attracted to a certain sex, it generally doesn't elicit feelings of disgust or anxiety, just apathy and a sense of, "Nah, not for me."

The thing about our orientations is that it's hard to know what they are just by thinking about them. They're not like hair color where we can just look at ourselves and say, "Yep, this is what I am." We have to look at how they manifest themselves when given the opportunity to do so, and if you're having knee-jerk reactions of disgust and anxiety to the idea of being romantic with a guy, you might not really know whether it's possible or not.

Imagine a young man named Joseph. Joseph grew up with devoutly religious parents who strongly believed that metal music was a gateway to devil worship, and they instilled that same fear in their son. So Joseph never sought out metal music, and whenever he would hear a bit of it blaring from someone's car, or think about listening to it, it brought up that same fear that his parents instilled in him. So he was never able to really give metal music a chance, even though he has a lot of frustrations in his life and could use the release of stress it would give him. Can he honestly say he's incapable of liking metal music?

I take an existentialist view towards labels, rather than an essentialist one, so I'm willing to believe that you're heteroromantic and can't fall in love with guys. Who'd be able to do that if the very thought made them anxious? But just because you're heteroromantic now doesn't mean you'll always be. Like I said before, anxiety doesn't come from considering dating someone you aren't romantically attracted to; it can come from internalized homophobia, or fear over how people will react to you being in a same-sex relationship, or just fear of the unknown, but it doesn't come from you not being emotionally attracted to guys.

Of course, that doesn't mean you can just snap your fingers and make that anxiety go away. It takes time to get over it, so you're not going to suddenly be comfortable dating guys as soon as you finish reading this. Give it time, though, and you'll probably find your anxiety over being in a relationship with a guy getting less and less as time goes on. You'll probably become more open to the idea, and when the opportunity presents itself, you'll be ask without feeling disgusted. And once you're no longer anxious about it or disgusted by it, you might find out that you're biromantic, in which case this who question will be moot.

As an aside, asking a guy to be your boyfriend during sex is generally not the way to do it. When you feel you're ready to do it, try just asking a guy out on a date (which is less of a commitment than being a boyfriend). And do it when you both have your clothes on.

 

Have you tried to think about why that is? Is it because you don’t like the idea of being publicly seen as gay, perhaps even subconsciously, or is it because you don’t feel any emotional attraction?

I’m attracted to feminine personalities (sensitive/caring), so odds tend to favour girls, but I eventually realised I can be emotionally (and sexually) attracted to either sex. With a typical masculine guy, though, there’s just nothing there (no emotional or sexual attraction), so it took a while for me realise it’s possible for me to feel everything I feel with girls with guys too.

 

Are you sexually attracted to girls at all? If you have no urges for girls, no fantasies of them, or aren't aroused by them, I don't know how to really put it but your sexual orientation is GAY. I know it sucks. I felt "heteroromantic" for a long time. I can emotionally connect with some girls, but physically forget it. However, if you are sexually attracted to girls, then you have a good shot.