Today SolarCat's huge box of cookies came and mom saw the name is to David...me. I read her card out loud, which she signed her girl name. Then I explained she was born a boy but feels like a girl inside, she's transgender. Mom told me how my cousin was born both genders and they chose to make her a female. She claims she had perfectly normal genitals for either. We agree in this case it was a good choice she's very heterosexual and does well as female. She's the tallest female in our entire family and dont piss her off cuz she's mean as my uncle. I didn't ask if I was intersex too...but i did tell her not all have fully functioning parts and some could have tiny ones or doctors could fear cancer if they don't remove them...but sometimes today they let the child decide themselves. She didn't know its possible to wait. I still didnt outright say im transgender too...but when i pointed out she said my birthname she corrected herself and said David. I hadn't said she must, only Kat....but she said it anyways, cuz SolarCat had. I hope im doing the right thing. I feel like im blind and walking in the fog. I don't know where i am headed and if it is the correct direction. Id sure hate to be a David who looks like a lady...ew.
There is nothing wrong with being David and looking however you look. Congratulations, it seems like you are out to your mom now. Make sure she knows that it means a lot to you when she calls you David. It seems like she'll be accepting, so that's good. Does your cousin know she's intersex??? If not, someone should tell her. It's much better when they let the child get to an age where they can say. Or even if they let the child just be intersex--why force a child to be any gender, if they aren't?
I don't know, our family likes to not tell the truth sometimes. I bet she is clueless. She has been married 3 times, had if you count deaths abt 10 babies. I agree that truth is best...but I don't even speak to my family anymore, just me and mom, cuz they are not safe people. I read that John Hopkins survey found a majority of adults are happy with their assigned gender, but is that skewed? I don't know how it was conducted. But 2 did sex reassignment, 2 is too many! I am seriously concerned cuz how mom was so unshocked abt my transgender discussion or male name, but very shocked look abt "You mean (doctors) they can wait?" when I told her they allow many to choose themselves. I have male attributes. Attributes NOT female. They are not strong, but exist. Many intersexed athletes didn't know until tested they were not females. I have conflicting feelings abt it. 1 is i can transition knowing why my thoughts exists and have a understanding why i think so strangely. 2 is mom was so clear Lori had "perfect" both genitals, whatever it means, that if I found out mom's irrational fear of all men led her to have me assigned female for her to raise a woman...if i found out i could have had children as a man does and been fertile, i will need therapy. i think how i will ask, to gt the truth...cuz sometimes when mom wants to hide stuff she has a way to hide it...i think i will ask "So mom, besides Lori, are there any other intersex children ever born to our family?" that would allow her to stammer and say yes and not need to outright say who. THEN if she does say yes, i will ask "Well, how many do you know of?" That will let her say 1 or a few, etc. Last I can ask "well, tell me who." And i will watch her eyes. I almost want it yes...but i will cry if i did have a baby penis and its gone now cuz she hates men.
