So Apparently

That sucks.(*hug*) Is there anything you can say/do to convince him of your gender neutrality?

 

What does he think about the edgy style stuff?

 

Oh. Is there some way that you can explain to him that you don't want/have to fit inside the norms of society? I'm guessing that you've already tried that. How dependent are you on your father? Can you be yourself without him knowing?

(lol this feels like a game of Twenty questions )

 

Hey you!! I think you need a (*hug*) And what do you mean by him conforming to society? That's the worst advice a parent can give to their child. He should be proud of you for wanting to be yourself; I know some many people who are not happy with who they are. Just hang in there and stand up for yourself no matter what he has to say.

 

Does he think society won't accept that style? I see so many women dressed like that. I live in Alabama, one of the most anti-gay states in the US, and society accepts the way they dress.

Ok so, the bold sentence made me want to vomit. He says he accepts you, but he's lying. If he accepted you, then he wouldn't care what society thinks. He would support you no matter what.

 

um...i know i dress like a sporty, nicely dressed boy...but honestly in winter it looks pretty shapeless! Mom don't care, she and my late gramma just were happy i didn't dress like a slut or show my underwear hanging out my jeans...

I saw a pix of you, it aint PRETTY or DRESSED UP...but it is normal, common, acceptable...you could attend my church college group and they would think you are a guy. There are a LOT of parents who would love any gender child to wear what you got on...modest and clean cut. Gee!

He wants you to lie, to live a lie, to dress in a way to please strangers. Hey, guess what? I get compliments from guys and girls on how I dress sometimes! Even if you don't, I guarantee you won't get told it looks so bad go change it as it is offensive.

Your dad needs to read about my mom here....she is conservative Baptist! My church, the women were fine being introduced to me (sadly as) her daughter. All smiles. He has a problem, do NOT obey him unless you get kicked out...stand your ground like a man!

 

huh? so your dad is not on his meds i see.

 

Then ask him, "If you say you accept me, yet you're worried about what others think, does that make you a hypocrite?"

 

im so mean, i don't let others be mean to me and give polite back!
I know they don't like it that I am blunt back to them but I don't apologize for how God made me...an irritation to jerks.

i wouldn't ask him anything more, i would tell him.
i tell mom what to do when she is childish and morally wrong...and if he were my dad guess what i would do?

 

I'm assuming you have dude equipment down there, because girls can usually wear "guy clothes" without much trouble. If I'm wrong, oh well.

This might not be exactly what you want to hear, and you're a different person that I am, but here's what I think would maximize your clothing you like to getting in trouble ratio.

Your father clearly isn't a big fan of what you're trying to do, and his mind won't be changed. So just follow his orders on that until you leave the house. I don't know if you're in high school or if you're a doctoral candidate, but I'll assume you're in high school because your dad is still controlling your behavior. So, even though it might not be fun for high school, just do what he says, because at college you can just do whatever you want clothing-wise. Unless he has a camera in your room or something.

 

Like I said, you don't dress bad, you just don't dress how he wants you to look.
so if he wanted you to dress like a hooker and wear a sign saying you cost $5 and hour, would you?
I know the answer...hell no!
So difference is what?
You are an adult, he wants to control you, and duh I like to be in control and win all arguments myself. ...but you gotta show him you are MAN ENOUGH to stand up to him and not back down...I know I don't know you both, but I know me. I know that a guy who don't want to lose will push somebody to cave in as long as they do show weakness and signs that they will compromise, so I will continue to do whatever I need to win. So how can you break me? I don't want to SAY!!! It my secret! But I will say you can pack up move out don't call or come back, and you win. Alternative is not speaking to him, and not obeying him, like he was not in existence...even talk to others right through him. Other alternative is to not give up the fight and be just as much a brick wall as him. Tell him he dresses embarrassingly male and you have bought a pink floral scarf for him to mix it up a bit. Get him really mad...but these are what I would do.

Now, what are YOU going to do?
are you man/woman or mouse?

 

owls prey on mice...

well i am glad he had a heart to protect you, but he is being over protective now.

the world is cruel, and he can't keep an owl from other predatory animals.

he can teach it how to fight, but cower? you will surely die...

he needs to know you won't obey...you do that for yourself, and for him...time for the owl to fly from the nest.

 

I know you said your father has accepted you and yet he wants you to hide in public...I would like to think he is trying to protect you from this harsh world, but in his ignorance he is hindering you. Maybe he has accepted you..but he knows how the world is..and they may accept you..you know?