Help, I Think I Might Be Getting Obsessive...

Hi guys,

Recently posted a thread about coming out to some of my family, going well so far. What sort of provoked it was the fact that I had sort of met someone around the same time. But I'm concerned about how I'm feeling...

Here's a bit of history, skip it if you want...

I don't meet a lot of guys at all, I've not been in a relationship for many years, nor do I do one night stands or anything. I don't really know where to meet anyone like minded. Anyway, I was introduced to a guy from a friend back in November at a small gathering. I didn't expect anything, but I he seemed like a nice guy and I liked him. A few days later we started to talk on Facebook and we had a long conversation that went from evening until early hours of the morning talking about ourselves and saying that we fancied each other. It was great. We talked quite a bit on Facebook for a while, then moved onto texts.

Well I was keen to meet him again straight away, but although he was saying he really liked me (he even suggested several times that he thought I was out of his league), he seemed a little reluctant to meet. Just kept saying 'soon'. I tried to hint at why but he would say he's just busy. We would still text every day. For a while he was saying he really wants to be my bf and that he's not going anywhere now, he just wants me, and sorta suggested that we were already bf's, strange but I thought OK then! He called me on the phone once and it was really nice we had such an amazing cheeky sorta conversation, but even though I hinted at phoning again, it hasn't happened again.

Well all this has happened over a month after we first met, and I still hadn't met him. Recently over christmas and new year, I've felt that he hasn't spoke to me as much, and when he does, its a txt without as much enthusiasm. I said to him that I want us to talk more and I'm dying to meet you again. He would just say he's just busy. Well finally, he said he would be attending a party we are both invited to this weekend, and also suggested I stay at his house the week after. Although there wasn't much enthusiasm about it. No idea what's going to happen.

So that's the history, but here's the problem. I feel like I'm becoming a little obsessed, or on edge with him! I want him to talk to me a lot more, I want to hear him, and i want txts with more substance other than 'Hey how ru today? x'. The biggest problem is Facebook. It's horrific for stalking people, and I feel like I'm stalking him, I can't help it! The Close Friends feature makes it worse. And I've even become obsessed with clicking on the last message he sent me on Facebook which tells me if he's active on Facebook right now or when he was on there last. I'm checking all the time, it's awful. I tend to avoid commenting or liking his things on Facebook because I don't want to come across like I'm getting too involved in his Facebook.

As well as this, I'm generally just thinking about him 24/7, and it's taking over. Every moment, from the moment I wake up, I'm checking my phone to see if there's a text from him, all throughout the day. It's getting too much. I wish I would just relax and focus on other things but I'm really struggling. I REALLY wish that he would want to talk to me more (wish he wanted to meet me a lot earlier, I met him back in November!), but I don't think that will change. Another thing worth mentioning is that I met a guy a few years ago online who I became very close to and we talked ALL the time, phoned every day, text all throughout the day, it was great, but it ended sour, he turned out to be a bit of a 'catfish', in other words, I don't think he was real, we never met. It scarred me!

Anyway, really sorry for the long message here. Has anyone else had similar problems to this? Is there any advice you can offer? i'm unsure what to do, I can't carry on like this, it's not healthy and it's affecting the rest of my day to day life.

Thanks guys

 

Thanks for replying!

Well he said he wasn't feeling up to going to the party which really disappointed me, but I still went to his house. We had a nice night, seemed to get on really well, stayed the night, but kicked me out early as he had to look after his family's dogs. We both said we are looking forward to seeing each other again, but it has been a few weeks now and we still haven't met and have no plans in place to meet. I can only wait for a date to meet from him as his working situation is a bit more complex than mine. But he just doesn't seem to have any enthusiasm to meet again, even though he keeps saying he really likes me and wants to see me. So I told him how I felt, that I felt he wasn't as keen as I was, but I don't seem to get much of an answer from him. Any time I mention anything negative, he will pretty much reply 'maybe we should call it a day then' or somewhat, too quick to dismiss us completely!

Anyway, rambling. Back to the point, I'm STILL obsessing. And part of me now thinks that this guy isn't right for me as he's just not showing the same interest as I have in him, especially not anymore. But I still keep checking his Facebook and sitting on edge waiting for a text, struggling to get through my day to day life because he's in my head all the time! It's frustrating. Ideally, I think I need to let him go, get him totally out of my head, but I don't know how to?

Problem now for me is, I don't feel like I'm going to meet anyone who I genuinely like like that for a very long time. I've spoke to guys in the past few years but no one has ever interested me like he has.

Any advice? Thanks all!