Okay, so I'm trying to figure this out. If I am attracted to women. There is no question about that. But I'm looking back at the men I have been attracted to, and i come up with only very slender, fairly feminine men. What does that mean? Are you really attracted to men at all, if the only men that attract you are men that are fairly feminine in nature to begin with? Has anyone else experience this? Could it be that I was only attracted to those men because i never allowed myself the option of being attracted to women until recently? ---------- Post added 3rd Jan 2013 at 06:04 AM ---------- Sorry, I didn't meant to say "If" I am attracted to women. That should have just said "I am attracted to women."
I feel the exact same way! Don't worry attraction can be a confusing thing. I found myself attracted to a very specific kind of men in middle school/ high school. I was only attracted to much older men in a position of authority. I also was attracted to very feminine men who often turned out to be gay. I think these attractions may have been because women were off limits. Not everyone can be comfortable in their identity at a young age. However I will every once and a while find a man attractive but it doesn't quite do it for my physically when a guy touches me like it does when a girl touches me. Here is how I cope with these feelings: when you are attracted to someone just go with it. You don't have to commit to a serious relationship with someone because you think they are hot. I completely identify as a lesbian but if I ever fall for a guy I'll just roll with it. I have never dated a guy or been in love with a guy but I don't tie myself down with trying to fall into a label. Be yourself and be comfortable with your attractions. If you were once attracted to feminine men to compensate for not being able to like girls that's fine too.
Thanks Asari. That is what I needed and wanted to hear I think. I guess I am afraid, in some ways that being honest about what I want right now, might not represent what I want in the future. I am still at the needing permission stage I think, but headed, hopefully, to the not needing permission stage, to be who I am and want what I want, at whatever place I'm in. I really appreciate you responding.
Haha! That is totally me as well!! I've never really had crushes on guys before but I was always attracted to the feminine looking ones! My sister would always turn to me and say, "Um, you do know he's gay right?" And I'd be completely surprised by it. So whenever I thought a guy was hot, we'd joke that he's probably gay. Anyway, I think as humans we are attracted to beautiful things, or things we find beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But just because I find someone to be attractive it doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to them in any way. There are guys out there who I think are attractive but I'd never want to sleep with them, or have a serious relationship with them. It wouldn't fulfill me.
