Bi in disguise...Anybody up for some psychoanalysis?

Totally forget being accepted. Just live your life and be kind. Do what you know in your heart is the right thing. Gosh that sounds cheezy.

 

You have accepted that you're bi, but you have a wonderful boyfriend. I could imagine why you'd want to experience being with a woman, but how do you think your boyfriend would react to that? If he asked to be with a man before committing further, would you let him?

Also since it's a workplace, there's really no need to announce your sexuality, but if you feel you need some LGBTQ supporters, then feel free to find a way to incorporate it into a conversation. I'm sure they'd actually be happily surprised to find out you were bi if they thought you were straight. (People like more like minded people!)

I think this definately needs to be addressed to your boyfriend, and only then can you really know where to go from there.

 

Why do you feel like you need to "be intimate" with a girl before you can commit to your boyfriend? Are you worried that you might really be gay?

Incidentally, coming out is not something you do once and then it's over. You will have to keep coming out to new people forever. So it doesn't just "feel like" coming out all over again--that's what is happening.

 

I had this issue when I was 19; I was attending school however, and for some reason I wanted everyone to know that I was bisexual. So, I typed a lot of research papers about LGBT issues and some of my classmates caught on fairly quickly. I even had an older woman in my class hit on me, but I was not interested at all. I also had a boyfriend at the time and he knew that I was bisexual. He was very accepting, but I discovered that I was indeed gay. I just didn't have that thing for him that I have for women. I thought I could change, so I conformed to society, we had kids, but things did not work out unfortunately.

So, we decided to take a break and oh yeah I was pretty sure that I was gay, but I was in deep denial. Anyway, enough about me...I think you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you feel. It's best to be open and honest, even though that's one thing that I could not do. I could not be honest with myself about how I felt. I didn't want to be labeled "different", but now, I could care less. And as far as work goes, just let it come out naturally. Like, whenever someone mentions their relationship, just be like, "Well, I have a boyfriend, but I'm bisexual and I've always wondered what it's like to be with a girl." I'm not sure how close you are with your coworkers, but less or more is best as you see fit. In my opinion, I think your personal life should not really be discussed in the work place. Perhaps, inviting some of the girls out to lunch could work. That way you get to know them on a different level, but that's just my two cents

 

Well, it's just that someone who knows she can be satisfied in a relationship with a man shouldn't have to try sex with a woman in order to make sure of it. So, that means you aren't sure you can be satisfied with a man.

That being the case, I think you should be honest about that with your boyfriend.\. It's really more fair if your boyfriend knows that that's a possibility. Tell him that you think you are bisexual, but you worry that you might really be a lesbian, and you think it's important to know for sure.

Be honest with any women you date as well. Don't date women without telling them about the boyfriend and whatnot. Unfortunately, this might make things difficult.

But if you don't really enjoy sex with men, that could be an indication that you are a lesbian. And that means that both you and your boyfriend would probably be happier in relationships with people who are sexually compatible. He would surely be happier with a girlfriend who likes having sex with him.

I think you should pick one of your lesbian coworkers to come out to. Pick one you are NOT interested in romantically. Tell her everything. Then you will have some emotional support from a real person in your life while you are working through this. (You need someone who isn't as invested in the outcome as your boyfriend is.)

 

There's already a lot of good advice in this thread so I just have 2 questions.

Where do you work? And how can I get a job there?

 

Sex with men has never been satisfying for me either, but I just thought it was my libido. I had to think about women to become sexually aroused and in order to be satisfied. The relationships that I've had with men were short term and very disappointing. But, I had to stop blaming them for my issues. Whatever you do, do not tell your boyfriend that you do not find sex to be satisfying; it's going to completely crush him. Instead, open up to him about possibly exploring the other side of your bisexuality.

 

il second that lol
instead of making it a big annoucement could you just make a comment like "she fit" or say something lgbt related like mention a lesbian book or film casually in conversation that way its not a big deal but made obvious that you like women.

 

Whoo, I am in the same situation as you accept I'm a guy! Anyway, I really relate to the emotional bond you have with you boyfriend, I have the same intense bond with my girlfriend. But like you, we haven't had sex in weeks. It's not her fault either. Like you, my girl knows I am bi, but I am not sure. As much as I hate to admit it, I may be gay. Also, like you I feel like I need to address the issue while still young. I would love a life with her, marriage, kids, the whole deal but if im indeed gay and gonna struggle with sex then I feel like I should not wed her ughhhhhhgg!!!! Best luck girl