I am a straight female and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for seven years. We lived together for six. He and I broke up a couple of months ago. I moved out and am staying with a friend. We have still been in contact this whole time, and I love him so much. I have been worried about him and he recently opened up to me that he think he might be gay. We are in early 30's. He says he loves me and is attracted to me, but he is confused. I think he has been struggling with his feelings for many, many years and was brought up that being different or gay is "wrong". He has no one to really talk too and his father is older and would not support this news. He is struggling with that. He has a lot of work/life stress, and I am worried that he is looking for wrong ways to escape, with drinking etc. I am open minded and I do support him in whatever he finds for himself, and will be there for him. But I also feel selfish because I am deeply in love with him, and don't know how to deal with the fact that he might not be attracted to me, and I will not have him in my life romantically anymore. I wanted to marry him and be with him. He is my best friend and soulmate. I don't know what to do. Are there any resources out there for myself? And also for him to talk to people about what he is going through? He says he feels so alone, and that breaks my heart. I want to ask him more questions, but I don't want to push him away. Thank you.
Hi, welcome to Empty Closets! Look for counselors who specialize in helping married gay men come out. You aren't married, but the issues are similar. Also encourage him to make friends in the gay community. Try not to pressure him too much to be straight. There are resources as well for women who are in relationships with gay and bisexual men. I'll see if I can find some links for you. But there are support groups and things like that. I do think it's most likely that he is gay, or I don't think he would have had to break up with you because of this. But he will have to work it out for himself.
