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I'm not this emotional before:(

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jp16, Jan 3, 2013.

  1. jp16

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    Everything seems alright when i was a kid...i remember back then i'd pray every night thanking god for giving me a wonderful life and i always said to myself that i am so lucky to have my family.

    It all started to change when i was 16 years old, i started to realize i'm more getting interested in a guy and having a romantic desire in them,i thought it was alright because i'm young and it will gone when i became more mature...but it didn't so it started to worry me because i'm getting different for what i know. I do tried to have a relationship with a couple of girls but it did not last because it didn't satisfy me cause i know it's not what i want.

    Last year became much more harder for me because i'm getting lonely, i have no one to talk to, i'm afraid to tell what i really am with my family and friends, i don't know why i'm afraid maybe because i'm so coward for what i'll be hearing when i came out...i don't know:frowning2:.
    :tears:i cried everytime when i know im alone and no one can see me, just to let out my emotions...there's even a time that i pray to god to take my life so it will stop what i feel inside:frowning2:

    I really wanted to know what you think...your advice or opinion anything of how am i going to come out.:help:
     
  2. Deaf Not Blind

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    well, i am a Baptist Christian, and know God doesn't let us go through anything unless we are able to handle it with his help. He never said life would be easy. If you somehow were told things would be easy as an adult, then you were deceived. but you are def not only person ever alone, or hurting, or scared. I am surprised in starting to discuss myself to mom that she does not freak out. All are different, but you must love yourself and God and all people...don't kill yourself or ask to die...you are here for a purpose...it just is not the one you want.
     
  3. toms7

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    Buddy ohh this is not nice !
    iVE BEEn throught that its very hard i can tell!
    But i cant believe that you want to die , i mean you much see what your soul worths , is a very huge gift that you live !
    This is life ,if is that hard to be open there you need to move later in ur life! I dont know how to judge this ,cause everyone must see what is around him and judge by looking the clues, you are the one to get stronger and make it , its very hard i know i ve been crying for 2 years every day , i never won anything from crying what i needed was to get stronger inside of me when i felt weak and go and be the best me i can be!

    Dont cry also we are here for you noone is alone even you ! :slight_smile: hugs and kisses! :slight_smile:
     
  4. jp16

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    I don't know why i prayed that i wanted to die maybe i'm just depress at that time:frowning2:
    and i'm ashamed that i do that...i really regret it:frowning2:

    ---------- Post added 4th Jan 2013 at 12:52 AM ----------


    thanks i really appriciate it:slight_smile:(*hug*)
     
  5. Deaf Not Blind

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    it is serious if you ever have a thought to die...be very wary of thoughts like that. you may need to seek immediate help next time. but we are here if it happens and light is on don't allow it, talk to us. pray God help you want life!
     
  6. jp16

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    I'm not really a suicidal person what i mean in that point is i'm not afraid to die.
    Like i said i regret it:frowning2: and i'm sory if it bothers you i really am:frowning2:
    I really appreciate what you trying to say...and i thank you for that.(*hug*)
     
  7. Deaf Not Blind

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    no it is not bothering me, just concerning me.
    a person only asks to die when very scared.
     
  8. jp16

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    I'm not really scared i'm just afraid of what i'll be hearing if i came out.
    I think i'm just really lonely and have no one to talk too so i said that...but i'm getting better now cause i discover this site where i can be myself:slight_smile:
     
  9. Mhin

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    Always remember that it is not about them, it's about you. Coming out is hard, but leaving in a lie is much more harder.

    If you need someone to talk to, I am always here as well as thousand members of EC :slight_smile:

    Cheerup!!!
     
  10. Rexmond

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    @Deaf Not Blind - He's not saying life was going to be easy, just the change of the normal praying at night for the perfect life and family to the sexuality problems has caused so much confusion.

    jp16, It is really tough, and many of us have gone through the same experience you have described, and truthfully there is no easy way of coming out because we don't know what the outcome will be, only what to expect. And the outcome may be completely different. For a start I would try make some friends with people in this community, and maybe read some of their coming out stories, it could make it a lot easier for you.
     
  11. jp16

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    Thanks Mhin:slight_smile:...yeah i always said to my self it's not about them and i don't care what they gonna say to me but i really can't, maybe because i'm used to hear they're praises and im protecting the feelings of one of my love ones, she's really a homophobic and i don't want to give her a heartaches if she know that i'm gay, not right now..but i'm planning on telling them when i finish college.
    I'm really happy that i found this site... thanks for all your supports i really appreciate it:slight_smile:(*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 4th Jan 2013 at 11:32 PM ----------

    Yes it's really tough specially if i'm the first one to come out in our family, i don't really know if i have a gay relatives:frowning2: maybe it will be a lot easier if i have one:frowning2:

    I made a lot of friends in here, this site is really awesome:slight_smile: