Six years ago, I became very close friends with a guy. He told me he was gay and was slowly coming out. I supported him through it all since I had just come out myself. He said he would make it up to me by introducing me to one of his closest (girl)friends. So he did. This girl...the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I feel in love so quickly. We talked for hours every day and before I knew it, we were calling each other best friends. She said she was bi and wanted to be with me, but she didn't want to ruin our friendship. So I tried to respect that. Unfortunately you can't help it when you fall in love, so...I told her I couldn't do it because I loved her. She said she loved me too but begged me to not leave because she needed me in her life. We have been best friends ever since, but six years later...I still freaking love this girl. I have TRIED to move on, but I can't! She is now in OK (moved) and just told me that she got married a month ago and is pregnant. Wtf?? What the hell am I supposed to do? How can I move on? The worst part is...that she said she has feelings for me and questions whether or not she should be married to this guy or be with me! I want to just move on, but I wouldn't even know where to start. Where do I meet lesbians my age in Texas? I am so lost. Why do we always want what we can't have?? Please help. :bang:
Hi, Be fair to yourself. Ask her to stop being wishy washy and toying with your emotions. If she cannot make a decision that tells you a lot and you can make a decision. Don't put your life into the hands of those all to willing to throw you under the bus when it suits them. You can decide you still love the person but stop allowing them to hurt and confuse you. You have power too. Stuck
Oh wow, first (*hug*) Crushes suck! Since she is married and with a guy, I wouldn't pursue this relationship any further, it'll just make you even more confused. You have to try to keep telling yourself that if she was right for you, she wouldn't be married, she wouldn't be pregnant with his child. If they did end up breaking up, then maybe consider it. That's a big maybe, though. But I think for yourself, you need to try to forget about her. Meet new people, keep yourself busy. One thing that seems to help for me is going out with friends or family, not being alone. When I'm alone I think about the person I'm crushing on a lot, but when you're with friends or family, it helps because you don't think about them so much.
You are right. She has had my heart for 6 years and never even asked for it. I just need to take charge and try to move on as best I can. Thank you for the advice (and the hug)!
Oh wow, Fallen that is tough..for both of Yall. Hope for the best for you guys, I used to think if people just stayed away from me I would be ok. I don't want to hurt or cause others pain...unfortunately I have hurt someone also, even though I love them. Peace
Sounds like she wants the best of both worlds, which wouldn't be fair to you, her husband or soon to be kid. You know what you are, and clearly she doesn't - it isn't worth waiting to find out. You could wait forever and be ultimately disappointed.
Awww dang... I was reading that and my heart bleeds for you! This is a really tough situation! As difficult as it is, other posters are right in saying you have to move on, since she's obviously trying to move on without you. It was really reckless of her to marry so quickly if she didn't feel ready, or still had unresolved feelings for you. This is just an unfortunate situation for the two of you all the way around! :icon_sad:
I'm currently in the same situation and it's killing me. The girl I used to date is pregnant by her ex boyfriend. She claims she isn't with him now, and doesn't want to be with men in the future. But, I'm not so sure if she's being honest with herself. I am in love with her and it sucks, I've been trying to move on, but I cannot. If anything, I'd rather keep her as a friend than nothing at all. I wish I could help, but just know you're not alone (*hug*)
