I was gonna post on the welcome page, but thought this was a better place because I'm looking for advice too. I'm 19 and from Ohio. I'm out to one friend, who I told earlier this year. I haven't told anybody else, including my family. I come from a conservative Christian family (I'm sure y'all have heard that one more than a few times). Almost all my friends are from my church, my Christian high school, or my Christian college (yes, I willingly chose to go there and I like it there). While I've known in the back of my mind that I'm gay for years, it's only been in the last year that I have started to accept my sexuality, and the closet is finally starting to get stuffy. Not surprisingly though, I'm hesitant to tell my family or friends because of their religious beliefs. I really can't predict how they'll react. It can see it going either way. But I think I've come to the point that I'm ready for the worst. I can't keep my secret forever just to make everybody happy. The main reason I'm waiting is because there are other things going on in my family and I don't want to add to the stress right now. My biggest priority right now is finding somebody (just one person would be enough) who I can relate to, regardless of whether or not I come out and, if I do, how that turns out. I'm mainly looking for friendship, not dating, but if it leads to something more, that's great. My problem is that I'm not very outgoing. I also act pretty "straight" and masculine (the one friend I came out to didn't believe me at first), so some random gay guy I meet on the street isn't going to suddenly want to be friends with me. I would also prefer someone who is masculine like me, because that's what I can relate to the best. I know there are other guys out there like me, but we're not so easy to spot. Any advice would be appreciated. Anyways... that's my story. Thanks for reading!
Hi, Caleb, and welcome to EC! You're definitely in the right place, as there are a number of people here in your exact situation (Christian family, midwest, conservative area, all their friends are Christian). And the good news is... it all eventually works out one way or another. The more you share about your concerns here, the more input and advice you'll get... and if you're looking for people local to your area, if you PM me or one of the other staff, we can try and point you to some local resources. (There are a surprising number of them, even in Ohio.) In any case, I hope you'll stick around. The EC community is full of supportive, accepting people and I think you'll find a lot of common ground with a lot of people here.
Hi Caleb and welcome to ec You sound as though you have a good head on your shoulders,you are out to one person,you have realized that you cant hide just to please others and you are thinking things through before coming out to anyone else. I would say you are doing fairly well up to now but this is the point where you need a bit of encouragement and a few answers.Well this is where all of us on ec come in,we try to help and support you through both the good and not so good times.Alot of insight can also be gained if you read some of our older posts,you can often find posts asking just the same thing as you have on your mind. Good luck and try staying around with us.
Hi, Caleb Like those guys said a lot of us have been through the same or similar. Stick around, read some of the other guys' stories, and post as much as you need. (*hug*)
Hi, I suspect the best way to break the news to Christian family is for you to use Christian writings as an introduction. Not all the gospels got into the bible. Take the "gospel of Thomas" for example; === “70) Jesus said, "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” Excerpt From: Thomas O. Lambdin. “The Gospel Of Thomas.” === You would be doing exactly what Jesus said to do in this situation. Might be useful. Stuck
Thanks everyone! A couple details I left out... I'm don't consider myself a Christian anymore and my parents know that, although they've had quite a bit of trouble accepting that. Also, I go to school in Alabama. Not that it makes a huge difference, but I don't think things are quite the same in the South. I could be wrong though.
I don't have much experience in "the South" so while I could predict being gay could be difficult there I don't know for sure. I did use to have a manger from the south, really thick accent and loved fried foods and everything, that was as gay as they get and he still loved going back there to visit. The trick is to find people who support you. Whether they are straight or also LGBT like yourself the more supportive friends, family, and allies you have in your corner the better off you'll be. Most large metro areas should have groups for people in your situation if you take the time to seek them out. Good luck!
Hi Caleb! I have the exact same story. I only came to accept myself and now that I have it's really hard to find anyone to relate to. I also only told one person at first.. But slowly you'll build confidence. My family is Christian too, so it makes it that much harder. But don't worry, this proves you're not alone.. And we shouldn't be ashamed about being gay.
I can relate on how it's hard to find someone like me that is gay but doesn't fit into the social view of a gay guy and because of that you couldn't really guess I'm gay, at least that's what friends said when I asked them if that I hadn't told them that I'm gay if they would have known and only one friend said she had a suspicion but that's because her gaydar is scarily accurate even if it doesn't seem like the person, anyways that I guess makes it kind of hard to find other gay people more or less like me.
