Dating Scares Me?

Same story, honey. Even just going out as friends with another guy scares me.
Do you get along with girls better? (On a friends level, I mean.)

 

I used to feel the same way about dating. You just gotta do it and never look back. Always remember your self-worth and respect yourself. Don't put up with anyone if they don't respect the person you are and your feelings. Don't allow them to force you into doing anything you don't want to do. You'll find the right guy, you just have to try and be patient. I started dating last June and after several dates with different guys, I was ready to throw in the towel...until I gave it a final try and found my current boyfriend, who is so awesome. I know you'll find happiness too! You may encounter some jerks and cry some tears along the way, but I promise it's worth it in the end.

 

Well I think most people are scared or worried about dating to some degree, it is after all meeting new people, which is always an uncertainty, but your meeting new people with the prospect of them becoming an intimate part of your life.

 

I've been having this same thought the last couple of days. I don't have an answer to it, but I'll share my thoughts - maybe I'll be relatable.

For me, I think I'm scared of dating because I'm really self-conscious. I've always been self-conscious growing up... in fact, I probably look the best I ever have and am the most confident/social I've ever been in my life, yet I'm still stuck as that self-conscious little kid. And I think that's what's really holding me back.

Moreover, I think up until recently when I finally considered myself 'out', I had a very good excuse on why I didn't need to date. I wasn't going to date any girls if I knew I wasn't interested, and I wasn't going to date any guys if I wasn't out. That excuse let me avoid my fears for the last 7 or so years of my life. Being closeted, while sucky, is a really 'safe' place to be. And without that closet to protect me anymore, I'm learning there are a lot more to my insecurities than meets the eye - things I buried deep down because being closeted was my first priority for so long.

Putting yourself out there is a scary prospect. It gets even scarier when you consider that on the dating market, people are going to be scrutinizing you for well... everything to see if you're compatible. And I think the fact that being LGBT often limits us to a significantly smaller dating pool just adds more pressure to the whole situation - you don't want to 'waste' any potential partner because of something you could've/should've/would've done better if given the opportunity.

If nothing else, I feel for you. (*hug*)

 

I was terrified to death in my first relationship....
It took a lot of trust to open up to them and hope they wouldn't betray that trust...
It was hard to accept that someone wanted to be around me and love me (self-conscious)


Honestly it can be nerve breaking at times, but I think once you start dating a few people (face your fears) the fright will fade. :icon_wink

 

Maybe you have a fear of being rejected? I've always had the opinion that people take dating way too seriously and make it a lot more stressful than it should be. Dating should be fun! Sure most people want to find a special someone to share their lives with, but you never know when that person may come along. So just have fun! Try going out with a few people. You only have to go out once or twice before you decide you're not interested but that doesn't mean you can have a good time doing it.

Everyone gets rejected at some point. It can suck but it just means they weren't the one. Someone else will come along if you keep yourself out there.

Good luck!

 

It scares me too! I fear being a failure and wrecking the relationship. I also fear rejection and the possibility that what im doing wasnt the best choice. Maybe im just not mature enough to have a relationship!

 

Sorry, know this is an old post but I totally feel the same way at the moment. So scary and for me its intimidating. All these people especially when you look online always seem so confident, know exactly what and who they want whereas I am not like that yet. I know my orientation and who I like (I guess??) but not as certain as people online seem to be. Mind you probably trying to come out but not talking about it much and moved 1 hour away from any social group where I might be comfortable making friends is making it a bit difficult. Hang in there everyone!
PS. Moderators feel free to remove this or tell me if there is a better place to put this.