Right, I am an 18 year old transgender guy. I'm autistic. I've dropped out of school twice because of it. The work is really easy, but I can't seem to survive the experience of actually being there. I rarely have a reason to leave the house, except to shop. I have no friends IRL and I don't think I actually want any. I just got denied top surgery, and I'll have to wait about a year till I can get it. I can't stand living at home, as I am constantly verbally and emotionally abused by my mother, but there is no way I can leave. I feel like I have no future, and nothing to do in the present but play videogames and argue about stuff online. I'm supposed to be starting school again on tuesday, but I know everything is just going to go to hell again if I go. I'll just drop out again, and everything. If I don't go, however, my parents will take me back to spain where I'll have no access to hormone prescriptions and future top surgery. I was depressed a few years ago, during which time I self harmed a lot, and attempted suicide a couple of times. I can feel myself getting back into that place, and I just don't know what to do. If I were not trans, I could leave home and seek council accommodation (as much as I know I shouldn't), but I can't because either I'd have to give up my hormone therapy, or they'd just trace me back and find my family. If anyone read this, thanks. Ideas? EDIT: Oh, and gender dysphoria certainly isn't helping my situation. And I already tried therapy.
hmmm...you likely need to talk to other autistic peeps. I had a friend who was female with it once. friendship didn't last cuz of her...she had a lot of issues, temper tantrums in public places, staring down trying to be like an animal to fight, I am Christian she was atheist and loved to hate on the God I love...she could not get that it was as cruel to do that to me as it would be for me to mock her love of her father. She was lucky to even live on her own, she had few rights, and her mom would love to control her forever. Her emotions were crazy all over the place, and I could never tell if one of my blunt things I say will trigger her wrath...or if I am going to be ordered to allow her to be cruelly blunt to me even when she is very wrong spewing online information she read and so thinks is true. A guy buddy I am ATTEMPTING to be buddies with now, he also is deaf, does not do English good, thinks he needs to marry only a Yale woman who is NOT deaf, and will post things on my FB wall that OUTS me!! ARGH! All autistic are different. You have a lot of personal stuff that nobody BUT autistic will undy. That makes your situation very different. After all I been through with these two friends, I don't think I should try to help you as it will likely backfire in my face.
I'm really sorry that you're going through all of that at the moment. It must be tough and complicated, but honestly I would make the decision that gave me the best outcome in the future. You're a very experienced member in EC, so you probably have some sort of idea of what to do. Having friends that support you can really make such a huge difference, so you could try going back to school and try make some friends. If the hormones and surgery mean a lot to you I'd definitely take the risks.
Is there any way you can get homeschooled? Maybe you can get classes at home and join some kind of social organization in your area to get that social interaction you need and make some friends. Even though you say you don't want any friends can be an excellent support system. What's your main reason for not wanting to go back to school? Could your teachers possibly make some accommodations since you're autistic? That might help make school more bearable. If you didn't like your previous school maybe going to a new one might help. Anyways I'm sorry you're going through all this.(*hug*) I hope you can find the solution you need soon enough.
Hey, thanks for answering people. I don't respond before now because I just decided to deal with it alone. Which didn't turn out too well. Today was the firs day of school, and it already sucks. Literally half an hour into the day, I had what I think was a panic attack... I couldn't breathe and I felt dizzy and I couldn't stop crying and panicking. I'm still at school currently, but I've convinced my parents to pick me up. I don't know what to do now. I don't see anything ever working out for me. I'm sorry bout wasting your time with my problems. But help would be appreciated.
Do you think your mom would agree with you getting a job? Maybe something that doesn't involve having to deal with a lot of other people. That way you'll keep yourself busy, keep a routine, and even earn some money (might come in handy with regards to the treatment and surgery as well). And then maybe you can look for different ways to simultaneously finish school as well. I don't know what it's like there, but we have "evening schools" as well, mostly with older, more mature people, without the busy High School atmosphere.
I'd love to get a job of the type you describe. However, I don't see that its likely I'd be able to get one. I've been trying recently to get one, but youth unemployment is pretty high, and while I do have good GCSEs, I don't have any A-levels, and thus no one really cares. While I was at school, a woman from an autism diagnosis team came round and asked stuff about my early developmental history and other stuff. Then I came back and answered some more stuff, and she's got enough to diagnose me with autism formally. I don't know this for sure, but it may qualify me for benefits which would help me with the money thing. Do you have any idea what sort of job I could get that wouldn't involve people?
How about something like a car driver job? You'll be on your own, on the roads. Of course this would require you to get a driver's license if you don't already have one, and a company that wouldn't mind a pretty "new" driver. A friend of mine does this. He works for a company that delivers all kinds of stuff for other companies and businesses. It ranges from documents to hospital equipment to anything you can imagine. I heard there are also a lot of companies who specifically search for people with autism, because they find that people with autism -- when given clear instructions -- do their jobs absolutely perfect. You might wanna look into that as well.
Urg, I feel completely stupid saying this, but I'm really scared of driving. I have a provisional license that allows me to ride mopeds, and last year i fell off it and hurt myself quite badly (but thankfully not permanently). I think this has something to do with my feelings about driving, and I just feel really scared whenever I try and learn. Also, my parents don't have the money to pay for proper insurance so when I was trying to learn we were doing it illegally. I know I need to get past this fear, but I don't know how. But I'll look into the other thing. You're probably right, I would do a job perfectly. Assuming I were capable of it.
I'm pretty sure it does - I know a guy with autism (it seems to be fairly mild but I don't claim to know much about the condition) who recieves some benefit money as well as an allowance for going to college (he's 18). He also gets free off-peak bus/train travel - I know it's not much in return for what you are going through, but worth investigating at least.
hi sorry to barge in, but i dnt know where to post my own question ....plsss help , Im a nubie ... tnx alot
I know a lot of places offer high school classes online. I'm not sure how all that works over there across the pond, however; I do know that you need to prioritize. You know what the consequences are so you need to plan backwards at this point. Choose the lesser of the two evils. I would seriously stay in school keep my head down and get through it. You're gonna need the education to get a job and running away to accommodations set up by counselors doesn't seem like a solid plan. You're going to need your hormones, etc. and you can't get those in Spain so stick it out. I know it sucks, but its temporary. Try your best to follow through with school. While you are working your way to graduation you will have plenty of time to figure out your next step. You got this don't worry.
Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of education. But I can't simply stick with it. If i go back, I'll get another panic attack. I don't know how serious it can really be, its the first one I've ever had, but I honestly feel like if I hadn't managed to start breathing again I would have suffocated. And right now, several hours later, my chest is hurting and cramping up, and my breathing still isn't normal. I'm still shaking, and I can't turn the light on because my sensory overload is too bad. @Given To Fly I looked through the benefits website, and I can't seem to find the right one. If its not going to like, break your friends trust or something, could you tell me which one it is?
I have panic/anxiety attacks too. Not fun. Let me see if I can find something on the internet for you. ---------- Post added 8th Jan 2013 at 07:31 AM ---------- I don't know if I'll get in trouble but I found this for ya UK Trans Groups/Organisations
I've not seen him for a while, but when I do I'll ask. I suspect it's a component of DLA (or whatever it's called these days) - that covers quite a lot. Look up the free bus pass too - if you live within the West Mids county, you get free train travel as well. I'm 99% certain you'll qualify for that at least.
Oh, and these too ZONE Magazine: The Midlands premier on-line Gay Guide :: trans support groups Outskirts Links Page
Can you get those without an official diagnosis as well, though? The difficult thing with autism is that it's so hard to get a real diagnosis. You said you were gonna be able to get an actual diagnosis, though, so that would be great. I just thought of something. There are special schools for people with autism and the like. Ever looked into that? They are very small-scale; classes with a max of 12 people in it, specialized teachers, stuff like that.
Just offering a virtual hug. (*hug*) I'm your age and in a rough place too. Lots and lots of things are keeping me from following my dreams, plus I hate driving, it confuses me. Good luck, you can do it.
Apparently I have a diagnosis now. Yeah, my parents have looked into those schools. I'm a high functioning autistic, and apparently the schools are mostly for low functioning autistics. @The Escapist (*hug*) thanks.
