Its been 3 months since I came out to my mom and it was positive but for some reason I don't think I'll get that lucky again. see my dad is very homophobic and my mom has gay friends so I had a good feeling about coming out to her but with the way my dad is i'm not so sure he will accept it what I really fear is that he will disown me or not talk to me for years I don't know Im so confused Im so sick of living a double life but at the same time I dont want to tell him and he hate who I am and not talk to me because of it. Its probably had an affect on my mom too since I told her not to tell anybody especially my dad. I want to be open to everybody aunts, uncles, cousins basically all of my family that I see on a regular basis then I wouldnt be hiding it from everybody and can be open and (if I had a girlfriend) be able to say hey this is my girlfriend (fill in the blank) not hide it from my family but I'm not going to tell the rest of the family until I tell my dad because I dont want him to hear it from anyone but me. Ive already told all my friends and my mom so my dad and the rest of the family would make me completely out which would be great. the thing is that my dad and I have never really had a serious conversation in my life and I can count on my hands the number of days we have gone an entire day without fighting (well at least when I still lived at home). I have no idea how to start the conversation with him or what to say. its scary just to think about that conversation. does anybody have a really homophobic dad who you came out to and it was ok. or a dad who you dont have serious conversations with and you managed to come out to him. If you do can you please give me some advice about how to even start the conversation I just want to be completely out so I dont have to hide it anymore Im tired.
I think tired_of_lying411 is having simmilar dad problems, or was at least having some problems telling his dad. One question: Have you talked to your mom to see how she'd think he'll react? You said she has gay friends. Does he know about that? If he does, she would probably be a very good resource figuring out how he'll react, as she might have already gone through simmilar things in letting him know her friends were gay. No matter what, talk to your mom. She probably knows him and his reactions better than anyone.
well he knows she has gay friends and he even trys to be friendly towards them but behind closed doors he says mean things yeah I have mentioned it to my mom before and she says that my dad might just surprise me about the reaction he would have to me coming out to him meaning he wouldnt care and that he would have the same reaction towards the news as my mom did but I dont know if shes right. I might try to get the nerve up to do it soon I just dont know when. I mean when I got to this point about telling my mom it took 7 months after this point to actually go through with it Im 20 years old its time for me to be open with everybody Im not going to live half my life being to scared to be myself around other people
hey there... step49 is right... im in a really similar situation. My biggest fear is that he's curbed his comments about gay people because he is starting to figure out that i might be gay. Im glad to not hear them as much.. but im terrified that hed be lying forever to me... id never know and we'd just be distant forever.
