Hi ! So I met this guy while travelling 6 months ago and since then we've been in a long distance relationship. Nothing happened when we met but we became closer and closer and talk very often. Since the start I've been having this gut feeling about him, that something is not right, that he doesn't really want me. But he says otherwise and he's the most sensitive and romantic guy I know. Some small things he says and does makes me suspicious, maybe he's just shy though I'm really confused. He's not flirting or hitting on me, he's embarrassed by anything sexual and dosen't really show signs of attraction towards me. :help: I feel undesired, even though we had phone sex once when he was drunk, it only felt really akward afterwards, I felt like I had only witnessed it and wasn't really part of it. Then again, maybe it's just the way he is. But he mentioned he doesn't chase girls, ever. He's not into chasing them for sex or relationships. He's kind and honest so I know he's not just saying that so I wouldn't worry. He told me he never showers at the gym because of all the naked men there, I though that was a little odd... he mentioned his friends joke about him being gay, and when he was drunk and sharing a hotel room with buddies he said "nothing happened, but I was so drunk it could have". Also he's somewhat effeminate, he cries openly and is afraid of bugs, things like that. Those are really cliche things maybe I shouldnt bring it up, but he's otherwise kind of proud and make himself very manly and though so i was a little thrown off. I don't know if I should read into this or not, Id really like to know what you guys think about this situation ! I'm starting to resent the relationship because I feel so inadequate, but I dont want to make him feel pressured to be with me. I don't know if I should bring up the issue or cut my losses and leave before either of us gets really hurt :icon_sad: I like him a lot though and if he is gay I don't want to make him feel judged or that he would be failing me, I love him and he deserves to be truly happy (*hug*) and I would be secretly crying my heart out though because he's so amazing
I don't think anything you've said necessarily indicates that he's gay. Straight guys are obviously much more inclined to "chase" girls but not all straight guys behave the same way. Did he show a genuine sexual interest in you? Did you notice him mostly glancing at other girls, or guys? Those are the kinds of things you need to think about. Relying on stereotypes has never really helped in these sorts of situations.
I am a guy and in a situation similar. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years and i love her like no other. We live together and want a life, etc. Well I have been questioning my sexuality, because though I love her, and recognize her beauty, love to kiss and cuddle, I am almost scared of sex. It is great when we have it and all goes well, but I usually avoid it for fear of not being able to perform. I told her all about it and she is really hurt. She says she doesn't want to hold me back feom discovering myself, very supportive. Thing is, I don't want to be apart from her! I really do love her. I'm scared
You shouldn't worry about it truthfully, it could all be in your head and all the anxiety would be for nothing. If he were gay, I'm sure you would have noticed some sort of signs, and he'd maybe want to talk to you about it. It is possible though, it's not unheard of for some gay men to come out mid-life, but I'm sure this isn't the case.
Hey, who isn't afraid of bugs!? From what you say, he could well be gay. I certainly don't chase the ladies, which I'm surprised my friends haven't picked up on, because I'm gay. That doesn't mean that guys who don't chase girls are gay, after all, gentlemen don't go around having it off with whoever. I would also steer clear of the stereotypes. They reeeeeaaaally don't mean anything to the individual. If you're that convinced, ask him, but be prepared for a whole range of possible outcomes. He may shrug it off, or, if he is gay and hiding it, he could get very, very angry.
