Has anyone experienced this? I have known my whole life that I am gay (very masculine and no one would ever know), but finally admitted it to myself a week or so ago and feel so much better since I have. I am deep in the closet and ok with it for now. Ever since I have admitted to myself that I am gay, I am "out" to me. I have started dressing like I have always wanted to and not hiding it (ie I used to just wear tshirts and raggy clothes when I always wanted to dress with more style), got a new hair style (that if I do say myself is awesome looking) and just feel good about myself. I am even to the point if someone asks me if I am gay, I will proudly say yes I am. I have gotten compliments/comments about the change - "what are you becoming a prep" (as in high school terms) or "what do you have a date", or "check out your swag". I am almost happily anxious waiting for someone to ask me if I am gay so I can just say yes I am out loud to someone other than myself. Anybody had this experience as well? How did it happen? How did the person react?
I accepted myself earlier last year, but I definitely haven't changed my style or anything like that. In fact, for me, I don't think there's any correlation between my sexuality and the way I dress/walk/talk etc; both of those things are mutually exclusive for me. I have reached the point, though, where if someone asks me about my sexuality I'll probably just tell them I'm gay. It hasn't happened yet, but I suspect it'll feel pretty liberating
Congrats for being honest with yourself and finding peace in that. That really is the hardest step, IMO. As far as acting, dressing differently, I really haven't changed much. I feel more open to wearing outfits that I wouldn't normally wear. It feels good to feel comfortable, imagine that.
Forgot to say that I am in noooo way stereotyping gay men, but this is just me. Most "manly" men, as perceived in today's society, have a lack of style or could care about style unless they have a woman in their life that lays their clothes out for them. These straight men like to look at sports magazines & Victoria's Secret catalogs, while I like to look at men dressed beautifully in Hollister/American Eagle catalogs, etc. So what I meant to say is that I can finally wear the nice matching clothes that make me get compliments and feel good about myself, and not my favorite sports team tshirts, etc. Hope I didn't offend anyone!!:eusa_doh:
Heh, I wear my favorite sports teams t-shirts, and NOTHING is going to change that . If some partner sometime decides to lay out my clothes for me, they better include those t-shirts! Now to work, I tend to dress nicer, obviously, and I have lots of dress shirts, some more "flamboyant" than others. It's how I express myself in a repressed corporate culture. Heck, some of them I'm fine wearing out on the weekends with jeans or something. One thing that I *have* done since accepting myself (I'm probably at about the same stage that you are) is caring slightly more about my hairstyle, but that came more from a botched haircut than anything (I normally get almost a buzz cut, and by #2 she though I meant two fingers worth of hair on top!). Now I'm slicking it back and putting gel in it, and I've gotten comments on how I've never looked better! (maybe I found a new hairstyle that works for me....I previously was the "low maintenance, wake up out of bed and go out" variety)
Where I work we don't have to get dressed up (unless having meetings), so getting outta bed in the morning and just throwing on a tshirt and going to work is ok, but it is so nice to be able to look decent (well, at least decent as possible). I think I am doing it more so with the hopes of someone actually asking me if I am gay, so I can just say yea and be done with it. U have at least told ur therapist so someone knows...NO ONE knows for me...wanna be first? LOL!! Hi, RainbowMan, I just want to let you know that I am gay. BTW - I will NEVER get rid of my hockey shirts/jerseys.
Congrats on accepting yourself, it's always the first person who should know. You understand why now, it makes it so much easier to come out to others openly. People don't have to ask you for you to tell them by the way.
Since coming out, I've started taking better care of myself, and bought a whole load of new clothes (I guess theres a lot of space available in the closet now lol).
Yes, when people's behavior changes as a result of coming out, it's because they were repressing something before. Congratulations! Have you thought about who you might want to tell? Is there someone safe in your life you could talk to, that you know will accept you?
Rexmond - very true. I just think with the changes I made on the outside willmake it easier for me to be honest if they ask! Given to Fly - very funny...lots of room now!! :roflmao: Ianthe - thanks on the congrats! Also, my brother is who I will probably start with...of course...when ready!
We aren't as close as my brother and I are. Sidenote: The 19 yr old nephew (the one that recently dropped the bombshell) is also my godson. Both my nephews moved to the other coast of US when they were young, so I wasn't around them much when they were growing up. My brother has had a falling out with my parents and also my other brother (the dad of the nephews). I am the only one in the family he keeps in contact with. We talk maybe 3-4 times a year for about 5-10 minutes.
I wish I was had the courage to be ready to respond the the "are you gay?" question truthfully. I hope I don't have to dress nice to have it, cause I ain't got no fashion sense or none o' that. Congratulations on mustering up the courage needed to be able to come out at a moments notice!
Byron: PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! don't think I meant that in order to be out or have the courage to say u r gay u have to have "style". I meant nothing of the kind. It is just a way that makes me feel good about ME and builds my inner confidence and thoughts of MYSELF. I meant nothing more than that. Everyone has their own way of coping/dealing with/learning from/moving on/opening up/coming out, etc etc...u will find urs I am sure. Don't know ur age, but let me tell ya, when u are 41 u realize that u wasted a looootttttt of time being in the closet. This is not something that came easy to me, but I see those coming out stories on here and Facebook, and realize I have missed out on happiness, and I am just plain tired of being alone and not in love. Small steps my friend...small steps.
