I think my mom may suspect that I'm gay, which is either a blessing or a curse. She never used to say anything about anything LGBT related. However, recently she has started to voice her support for LGBT rights, and whenever the topic comes up, she looks at me (or maybe I'm just paranoid, but it really seems like she's talking directly to me when she brings up LGBT things). She also has started saying stuff like "I would still love my kids no matter whether they are gay, straight, or alien." I know it should reassure me to know that she would still love and support me, but I'm panicking. I thought I was getting more comfortable about the idea of coming out, so I don't understand why I'm so freaked out. I should be comforted by her words, shouldn't I?
What you are feeling is normal. She is learning to accept that you be gay before you are able to yourself. You may not be completely okay with the idea of coming out but she seems to be so that is a good thing. She could be your first step and it would be really helpful by the sounds of it. Others accepted me for who I was before I was able to fully accept myself so what you are feeling is completely normal.
It sounds like she is at least trying to be supportive - I know it seems like your safety net is crumbling, but perhaps you should make it official and come out to her Good luck (*hug*)
Your brain is going into a panic because this secret that you've had inside you for a really long time isn't as secret as you thought it was. You're worried. And it's natural to worry when you find out that other people know without being told. But most of the time, mothers know about these things. It's their intuition. So she's probably known for a while know. And she just wants you to know that she doesn't care, and you're still her daughter.
Ohmigawww I am in the exact same situation. My mom has met essentially everyone I've dated thus far, although I've never told her we were more than friends. Yet she's a psychiatrist and to be honest she has an excellent gaydar. I'm fooling myself by telling myself that she doesn't know. She makes a lot of those little hints as well; even my dad noted that he would love me no matter who I married... AHHH. And I know how you feel about not knowing whether to come out. I personally know I'm not ready, so I just leave it unsaid--after all sometimes I think I'm just paranoid. I figure I should only formally come out to my parents once I've figured it out myself, which, to be honest, I haven't yet.
Youre so lucky, when I came out, my mother nearly had a heart attack and couldnt stop stressing and crying for days. I felt bad.
That's what I was scared of. Can't believe things went well for me. (*hug*) Good luck HelloMyNameIs. (*hug*)
Thanks for the replies. On one hand, like a few of you have said, this could be a great opportunity for me to come out, but I still can't find the strength to say it. I don't want anyone to know, and I don't trust her to keep it a secret from my dad or her parents. I've guarded this secret for years, and once it is out there I won't be able to take it back. She asked me if I was gay once years ago when I was a freshman in high school, but I denied it (she was bawling, which scared me), and the subject was completely dropped, never to be spoken of again, until now, apparently. I have no idea how she knew/knows. I'm sorry she reacted that way. I know I am lucky that she's being so supportive, which makes me feel silly for feeling the way I do.
Moms just seem to know those things. My mom has been hinting at it for years. Honestly, she knew I was gay before I did. I finally told her about a week ago that I am gay. I just got sick of the question and hinting. I wish I'd told her years ago actually because I feel so much better now. However, I would suggest that since you are not out at all you don't tell your mom yet. It seems like she would be accepting, but you probably don't want her to be the first person you tell, especially since she would probably tell other family members. I suggest starting with a friend that you know will be accepting and then going from there.
Absolute truth. My sister says my mom knows and is just waiting. Your mom sounds fully supportive, butimtotally understand your concern about whether she can keep it to herself. Only you know if she is thy trust worthy.
I think my mum suspects it as well, probably down to me never having a proper girlfriend and never really showing serious interest in wanting a relationship with women (plus declaring that "I can date whoever I like, if you know what I mean..." in a conversation about relationships without thinking it through probably didn't help either :lol
but isn't it how you talk to people? you look at them in the face and not like, their boobs or your phone? lol
This exact thing is happening to me, and I think she is very acceptable. I noticed she tries to "baby me" more often. A few months ago she was driving me home when she was on the phone. She asked whoever was on the phone if they wanted to go get manicures. I thought she was talking to me and I said, "What?". She promptly told me she was talking to someone on the phone, and shortly said, "Guys can get manicures too". Also, I kind of think she isn't suspecting, but assuming I'm gay now. Recently, I wanted to get my hair straightened since it is usually a curly mess. So, she took me to her salon to get my hair styled so it would look great when straightened. During the cut I noticed she was talking to the gay men who worked there, who she never talks to. I think mom asked them about finding out if someone was gay or not, but this was based on bits and pieces I heard, but they did use the word "gay" frequently in that chat. Whether that what the talk was about or not, I still think she assumes I'm gay because of how I walk, never want to hang out with girls, look and talk feminine, and requested to get my hair styled for straightening. At least her assumption, if she even does, is accurate.
haha. I guess I should clarify. When she says these supportive things about LGBT, she isn't talking directly to me. She would be talking to other people, but she still looks at me, as if to gauge my reaction.
