I feel like crap now. I really do. To start this rant off am gonna begin with the whole 'being socialble' thing. Now don't get me wrong I know why every one is telling me, including my parents because it affects my life as a whole. I mean what am I gonna do if something, god forbid, happens to my parents, just go to work, come home and sit like a hermit. But here's the flip side. I really can't be bothered. I find the whole aspect of socialising or trying to start a conversation actually quite tiring. It's exhausting in fact and really can't be bothered to talk to people. I'll say 'hi' and 'goodbye' and all the rest of it but I'm a really honest. I just can't be bothered. It's not to say I haven't tried cuz I have and am currently debating whether to go to the gay men social group thingy on Monday because of the whole aspect of socialising just bores me to no end. Work sucks. Well it's doesnt really, I have a permanent job that pays a decent wage but my work colleagues won't actively talk to me because they probably now see me as the quiet guy who says nothing. It's hard to break that mindset they have and some of they conversations are bloody boring. Don't get me wrong. I know the remedy is in my hands. I just can't be bothered to do anything about it if I'm honest . So that's that Next is the fact that someone at work is leaving to join the army and well they all made a bit of a fuss and joked with these remarks and they a had a good joke and laugh "Keep ya head down" they all laughed "Don't bend over to pick the soap" they laughed "Keep ya back against the wall" they laughed Now if I'm not mistaken aren't these gay type jokes. Which sorta made me feel uncomfortable. I know these people don't gays but to makes jokes just made me see them in a different light. Besides that I feel crap because I've got all these issues which are very real to me and this guy is gonna join the army which sort trumps on my issues a d makes me feel like I shouldn't have these issues. This is my rant.... For now at least.
I don't see much point in forcing yourself to socialise if you really, really don't want to. The only down side to this is yes, you will end up: And the same thing with your work colleagues, if you don't want to talk to them, and if you don't that's totally fine, don't expect them to talk to you. Ye those were "you'll get bummed if your not careful" jokes. Harmless as far as I am concerned. I doubt they meant anything by it. And don't compare yourself to others. That's not healthy. Oranges and apples etc etc. Everyone's different and a "issue" to one person is a non-issue to another. Just coz he's off to the army doesn't mean your issues are any less ummm big? lol To sum up, just as long as your happy, go with it. Don't think that you have to do something to fit in.
