how to tell parents im a gay man nt a straight girl

Nah, it doesn't look attention seekerish. I'm trans too. It's a legitimate issue.

Basically, from what I can see, these questions are what you need to consider:
Are you sure of your gender identity?
Are you prepared to transition?
Are you prepared to deal with your family's reactions?

Only you can decide what your gender identity is, and from what you've written, you seem pretty sure. Anyway, I'll leave that bit to you.

So, transitioning.

Basically, transitioning involves changing your name, appearance and behaviour in public, and requiring that others use male pronouns. It is also often accompanied by modification of your legal documents, taking hormones, and/or gender reassignment surgery, though it is important to note that they aren't necessary, and you should never feel pressured into them.

Your family: If you decide to transition, you will inevitably have to come out to your family and friends. If all goes well, they'll accept you as a guy, and everything will work out fine. But its not always so simple. Some transpeople are forced to sever contact with their family if, after several years, they still don't treat their trans children properly. You have to decide whether you are willing to take that risk.


Hormone stuff, regarding needles:

Spoiler

Taking T isn't a requirement, and many people, though not all, can pass without it. However, it certainly makes life easier. As a bare minimum, to take T, you will have to have a blood test to detect any underlying medical conditions that could cause complications. Assuming it is safe to take it, you will then have to take blood tests every six months, and eventually once a year, to make sure it isn't harming you. On top of that, there are different forms of T, some injectible, and others are taken differently. The T I take is a gel I rub into my shoulders. Do you think you can handle a blood test every six months or so? There may be ways you can tolerate the occasional needle.

You expressed concern regarding your height and voice. There are plenty of guys who aren't tall, so I wouldn't worry about that. If you feel able to go on testosterone, your voice will break, but even if you don't, you can train your voice to be lower, to some extend. I am correct in assuming that you are capable of speaking at pitches lower than your current 'natural' pitch? Focus on speaking lower, and eventually you won't have to think about it any more. This won't make your range any lower, so the technique does have limits.

I have no idea what 5 stone 5 is... but if you're trying to reduce your weight to a point where you no longer have to deal with monthly stuff, I would really caution against it. That is technically an eating disorder, and can lead to some nasty health consequences. Taking T will stop it happening anyway, and before then, I think going on this pill can stop them. (I may be wrong about this, I never had to deal with that little piece of hell)

Can I ask what country you live in? If you live in the UK, I may be able to help you access treatment, but if its the US there will be others who know WAY more than me.

 

hi! I am pretty sure i am trans too. My mom seems to not want to lose me and acts as if she's known I'm not straight...she knew abt transgender and is starting to bring up stuff abt homosexual men. I thought she would be upset...I am sorry if yours turn mean on you, but I thought mom would how in past she spoke was not kind like this. Maybe when you find your kid is not straight as you hoped, you find more positive ways to cope? 2 strange men kissing will mean nothing to them...you mean the world to them, keep fingers crossed and don't give up hope yet.

i think not going on the pill was super wise. i never did. i think moms do that for several reasons all flawed.

You know there is another transguy who is gay and i recall is from UK on here! I think it is Ashton? You abt same age too. Look him up! Really funny person.

 

Hi,

I'm pretty much in the same position as you, just from the other end, I've somehow got to tell my Mum she's not got a son and daughter but two daughters and one of them is lesbian. I am so unsure how to come out to my parents, the problem is, soon I won't have a choice any more, since I will start HRT on 15th January and well, once my body begins to change it won't be easy to hide. I just don't want to loose the contact to them ....

 

Best wishes to you in Ireland!

 

Well as for treatment, no, you don't have to be out for a year. I was, but only because of REALLY STUPID DOCTORS. In my opinion, thats a ridiculous requirement. Yes, you have to be sure, but thats where self reflection comes in, not being out and trying to pass without T.

You have two possible routes when it comes to treatment, NHS and private.

I was under 18 when I started transitioning, so I went private. It wasn't as expensive as you might expect, but not something I could have done without my parent's support. The first two sessions required to get the hormones cost £250 and £175, I think, and I would have had to pay for hormones, except that the doctor wrote a letter to my GP asking her to prescribe them. So, free. I can give you more details if required, but as I doubt you'll be able to do this without coming out to your parents, I'll move onto the NHS route.

Go to your GP and get referred to a gender clinic. You may be required to see a therapist beforehand, or that might be provided by the clinic itself. You will either be referred to a gender clinic in your area, or to one in London, most likely Charing Cross. You will undoubtedly have to wait longer than in the private clinics, but I don't think it will take a year (the year thing is related to surgery, I think).

I understand the issues about waiting, and your situation looks pretty difficult to resolve. Gaining a greater understanding of LGBT issues through having a transgender son might open their minds, but then again it might not. It you go off to university telling them, that will protect you from their reactions, but it won't make living at university any easier. So, I have a suggestion. Begin going through the NHS system, and if the opportunity to take hormones arises, take them. You will be able to continue living as a girl, even on hormones, for a fairly long time if necessary.

 

You're still in full time education, aren't you? I don't think you'll have to pay prescription charges. In any case, they're only about 12 pounds, aren't they?

There is probably something further north, but unfortunately I don't know about it. Your GP will be able to refer you. Don't forget, your GP will have to keep anything you tell them confidential, even if they also treat your parents. As for private, this is the website of the clinic I go to:

Gender Reassignment | Gender Dysphoria | Sex Change Clinic | Transexual Health Care

(Really hope this is allowed, I don't want to get banned for it)

In regards to blood testing, I don't really know how to help. You won't have to get one straight away, though, and obviously when the time comes it will be your choice. I also doubt your the only person who has issues with needles, so they might be able to help you in ways that I can't. If it helps, I've had loads of blood tests before, and it honestly doesn't hurt much.

Good luck on your exam btw.

Also, you mentioned wanting to talk with people face to face. There may be LGBT groups or trans groups in your area which you could join if you wanted. And of course we're here whenever you need us as well.

 

Its up to you, but in my opinion, friends who will reject you when they find out who you really are aren't people I'd want around. That isn't to say you shouldn't inform them properly and break the news gently, if you decide to come out to them, but it is nice to be around people with some level of decency.

How did the exam go? If you've taken it already.

 

first off youre 5ft 1 and 5stone 5. if that is not due to a fast metabolism and is down to you not eating to get your periods to stop then thats not right. you dont need to lose weight at all, you will more than likely die if you try. youre only an inch taller than me and i was above your current weight when i was anorexic and i was dying. your health should come first.

you can go to the drs and get the pill or something to get your periods to stop if you explain what is happening e.t.c. going to the dr can help you with lots of things though. drs can reffer you to other people who can help start with your transitioning (if you want to that is and its okay if you dont want to aswell)

if your parents dont accept you, you will always have us here and your dr can be a good source for support groups e.t.c in your area they dont just deal with 'oh i have a cold' lol. they are quite helpful

perhaps talk to your parents subtly about if your friend was gay how would they feel about that person coming over for dinner or something.
your dog reference was a big step not a little one! congratulate yourself leo.... nice name too!