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Confused more than ever before

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lovebomb22, Jan 8, 2013.

  1. lovebomb22

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    I'm 22, a man, and I'm confused - really fucking confused . http://emptyclosets.com/forum/images/smilies2/bang.gif

    I can't really recall ever thinking "what if I'm attracted to men" ever in my life until a few years ago . Up until then, I've always liked girls, wanted them, fantasized about them, crushed on them, become aroused by their presence and the whole shabang that they call attraction was there . Only until recently have I felt sexual feelings for men .

    So I've been confused , on and off . When I'm confused I don't panic, or get too upset, I just think to myself "i'm just gonna ride this out, see what happens, could be just a phase or whatever" . It sucks because I don't get a chance to be around women enough, my loneliness is apart of it I think, and I think way too much which feeds into the whole thing . For example, the other night I went out to a music club, I was watching the band ahead of me, back against the wall, and this sexy girl was standing right in front of me . I was looking at her ass and thinking how great it would be to fuck her, and I started getting an erection, then in my head chimes in "see! you're not gay! look what just happened! if you were gay.... " etc. And this was about a month after one of my confusion phases .

    Now, sitting at home the other night, I looked at pictures of naked men and I was turned on by that too . But in reality, like if I walk around, I don't look at dudes and think about how much I'd want to fuck them . I know that 99% of the time that I get confused, I always get proved wrong by the opposite emotions, meaning, I'll come into contact with a hot girl and I'll become aroused, and I'm not forcing it . I've never felt that way for a man in reality (as far as I know), in fact, if anything, I'm repulsed by dudes in reality (sexually). It's just on the computer, or internet I feel differently, who knows, maybe It's a porn thing .


    I'm also a virgin, which has fucked with me for a while, I've got all this pent up sexual frustration and nowhere to get it out except from masturbating or ocassionally porn (which I try never to watch) and stuff .

    The thing is, I want to be with a girl, like I said, I've always wanted that, I FEEL that, sexually and emotionally, but now I'm getting thoughts of men that turns me on ???

    Anyways, any insight would be much appreciated , thanks .
     
  2. Hatsupi Kona

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    What ever you do, do not try to fight any urges. That would be unhealthy. It sounds like you are curious, which is normal. Try not to force yourself to love men or love women, let nature take care of that. Try researching different sexual orientations and try to find one that might apply to you. Knowing who and what you are can make you feel more comfortable with facts.
     
  3. lovebomb22

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    What do you mean by 'normal' ? Normal in what aspect? Of being straight ? bi? gay? . .
     
  4. Hatsupi Kona

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    Its normal for people to be curious about their sexuality. What I mean by "curious" is being curious about the opposite sex. You shouldn't be worrying too much over your sexuality. Remember, it isn't a choice and can not be changed.
     
  5. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    It could be the porn that is causing the confusion. The best indicator of your sexual orientation is what you feel in public towards real life people, not simply images of people.
     
  6. lovebomb22

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    Yeah, it could be, like I said I don't watch much porn, I look at pictures and stuff but rarely anything too hardcore (I used to but once I heard about desensitization I began to stop) . Yeah, like I said that's how it's always, and still is . I'm attracted to women in reality, or in public as you say . . Like I just watched two videos, one of girls dancing in underwear which turned me on and gave me an erection and also of this dude in underwear which gave me an erection too . . maybe I'm over thinking or doing to much but that's what I'm getting . . . I think that's fairly straight forward . .
     
  7. ConfusedNevada

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    I feel same way you do. When I'm on computer and watching gay porn or telling people Im gay I feel excited but away from it in person I feel no excitment, no desire to meet guys only to meet women so I'm dealing with same confusion.
     
  8. lovebomb22

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    yeah... what the hell man. .