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feeling like a burden to my friends.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MerBear, Jan 9, 2013.

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  1. MerBear

    MerBear
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    i feel guilty...for some reason....im starting to feel like a burden to my friends....i mean , i don't mean to feel this way but now im starting to feel like...im a burden....mainly because of the way everyone acts around me...

    i rarely tell my friends about my really deep personal problem but i feel like my rants that i go on are starting to annoy them...

    should i ignore it or just keep my mouth shut for awhile?
     
    #1 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  2. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    If they're your friends, they will listen to you just like you listen to them. Don't close yourself off. If you annoy them, they aren't very good friends, ya? Or you can talk to me and I'll listen. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  3. MerBear

    MerBear
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    they don't listen , nobody listens to me ...except people of here of course in to which i am grateful. the only person who would ever listen was my mom and she's dead soo
    my sister doesn't listen , she plain out go against me like my dad when i told him i was getting bullied , he said it was my fault because i didn't stick up for myself so when i did stick up for myself finally...he said to just ignore them which never did help...you can ignore someone but it still hurts
     
    #3 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  4. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    I'm very sorry to hear that your mother has passed and that your support system seems to be lacking... Did she pass very recently?

    Ignoring someone isn't the best advice, especially when the words cut deep. What were they saying to you exactly? Is this a reoccurring issue?

    What topics do your friends ignore?
     
    #4 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  5. MerBear

    MerBear
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    my mom passed 3 years agao and the bullying thing happens all the time but i found a new way to let it not get to me.

    i can never tell my friend much about things that are bothering me because they never listen to me at all...like i'll go up to them and say "hey" and they'll be like "what do you want meris?" and i ...well they say it in a joking matter but they do it all the time and it annoys me.
    and my friend bradley just lies all the time...and if i ask him to help me with something in art , he refuses to do it...because im suppose to be art 1 but im in art 3 instead...

    i try to be tolerant of people but ...its just can't even spit out anything anymore without someone telling me to shut up or telling me they don't care

    me and my dad are into politics a lot and i love getting into it ...thats the only thing me and my dad can really talk about
     
    #5 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  6. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    How do you keep the bullying from getting to you? That's difficult for anyone, and what do they bully you about exactly?

    I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have a father, sister, and friends feel detached towards you. I know that it was very hard on me when my sister moved out of state and with my dad always working and my mother visiting my sister, I understand where you're coming from, though maybe not exactly. I'm alone a majority of the time and I'm a naturally extroverted person.
     
    #6 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  7. MerBear

    MerBear
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    im an introvert. actually.
    my way is just to take it all in then realize that if its not true then i shouldn't care and then i don't. it took practice...it took me until last year to stop caring about what people think...
    now i just be myself and if anyone has a problem with it , i'll go by them a little lollipop so they'll stop crying about it.


    its not easy for anyone but after all the shit i've been through , i got tired of it and told every single person who bullied me to go fuck themselves because what they're saying isn't true and im not going to waste my damn time worrying about it

    they bully me about being white. about looking like a freshman when im really a junior. they bully me about being apparently 'ugly' when i had more guys ask me out than the girls who tell me im ugly
    they bully me about me stupid and annoying when really they are just as loud and annoying as i am and honestly if i'm so stupid , why am i still in school making better grades than most of my friends? thats what i say to them
     
    #7 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  8. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    I'm proud of you standing up for yourself. I remember how cruel High School is... people are always stabbing each other in the back!

    Really though, I'm glad that you have realized that your self worth doesn't come from what others think of you and that negative people's opinions of you are generally incorrect anyway. It's important to learn that as soon as you can, and alot of people don't grasp that concept their entire lives!
     
    #8 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  9. MerBear

    MerBear
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    yeah , my dad says i have a personality of a cop who doesn't take shit from anyone.
    thank you. it took practice , im still learning to take it all in from my dad and the whole sexual orientation thing i got going on
     
    #9 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  10. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    I understand. Coming to terms with ones sexuality is incredibly difficult sometimes. Have you come out to your father yet? (I forgot to check your out status lol)
     
    #10 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  11. MerBear

    MerBear
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    oh no. i more than likely will never come out to anyone.
    im between denying and accepting myself right but he has an idea ...because he's been bringing up a lot of LGBT topics
     
    #11 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  12. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    So he's kinda been hinting huh? Is he for or against gay rights?
     
    #12 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  13. MerBear

    MerBear
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    he's for although its hard to talk about my crushes on girls and stuff because well , he wouldn't know what to say and he thinks im straight , my sister thinks im going through a phase and so its hard to say im not straight because of what they are saying.
    i took the "phase" thing into consideration ....and its been hard for me to trust myself just because of my sister and dad. i shouldn't care what they think abut for some reason i do
     
    #13 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  14. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    They're your family, so you may always care about what they think to some extent. I'm glad that your father is understanding, in case you ever do wish to open up to him. If you've had crushes on guys and girls, then you're bisexual right? I think most people aren't 100% gay or straight, some just fall more towards the middle of the spectrum. I sometimes doubt my sexuality still too, because I've never actually had a relationship with a girl... but I would like to have one. :slight_smile:
     
    #14 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  15. MerBear

    MerBear
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    yeah. although i still can't figure out who i am more mainly attracted to...i haven't had a crush on a guy since my freshman year and my crushes on guys , i could easily get over them....my crushes on girls...it seems to take forever...also i don't remember getting those butterflies around guys like i do with girls...so im figuring it out :slight_smile:
     
    #15 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  16. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    No shame in figuring things out! That's part of life's little journeys, eh? I always thought I was a bit "off" throughout high school because I always wanted to gag when girls went into boycrazy mode. (still do actually lol) It took me a long time to accept I like girls because I had a crush on a guy in 8th grade. I think I could label myself as different things, but I avoid labels. I'm still figuring things out too. I'm a slow learner I guess. :slight_smile:
     
    #16 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  17. MerBear

    MerBear
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    yeah , i always tried to fit in and with the relationship i had with guys , they never lasted long...3 months tops...not even that i think...like 2 months actually...but with my relationships with guys , i wanted it to be like 'perfect' ...with my last ex boyfriend...i feel so sorry for him because i just wanted to have a relationship like every other girl it seemed.

    holding hands with my last ex felt awkward....mostly because i never was into , i don't know why i said yes , i guess its because i felt pressured and now all my ex's are coming back asking me out....and i've said no to each and every one
     
    #17 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  18. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    Yes I dated just to be normal and because my friends wanted me to. My longest was 9 months because he kept threatening to kill himself if I dumped him. He was really abusive! Blech.

    My exes always tried to win me back too... put sappy things in my yearbook. I whited out what my abusive ex said. People thought I was mean but I didn't care lol

    Ahhh the joys of discovering yourself, yeah?    :slight_smile:
     
    #18 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
  19. MerBear

    MerBear
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    yeah and some of my friends have are already asked me "are you lesbian?" and i just freak out inside , not because i have anything against lesbians , because i don't know what to say...so i just devert the topic....

    this guy i sadly pretended to date put this 2 page letter in my yearbook saying how much he loved me and everything and i just could not handle it. i was forced to date him because this guy was guilt tripping me. asshole.
     
    #19 MerBear, Jan 9, 2013
  20. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    LoL Yes it's always a bit uncomfortable when that topic comes up and you have no idea what to say. People never ask me, but they hint subtly... If they asked me now I would just say "Yep. So what's new with you?" all nonchalantly! Heehee.

    A guy guilt tripped you into dating someone? Well what did he do that for!
     
    #20 myheartincheck, Jan 9, 2013
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