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Wanting a Dominant role?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013.

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  1. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    Hey all! So I've found that the majority of people I have talked to on here tend to want more of a "submissive role" in the relationship... be romanced, seduced... you know... I know this isn't everyone though, so I don't want to generalize, but I noticed a pattern.

    However, I think I want a more dominant role in my relationships. It's always appealed to me to woo somebody and romance them with creative ideas for dates, buy them flowers, open doors for them, pay for the two of us... gentlemanly things. In a way, I'm very feminine too because I'm a great listener and am very compassionate and artistic, but I do NOT want to be in charge of taking care of the home/cooking/cleaning. I'd rather be out working... not that work is anyone's idea of fun either lol

    I would prefer to drive rather than let my future partner drive (in fact, I must insist lol), and fantasize of being in charge... um... physically... as I prefer giving to recieving... *ahem* I can only be aroused if someone else is.... However, most people wouldn't know this about me, because I'm very easy going and laidback too, so they assume I'd rather be submissive. (Including my dad and therapist, but I never correct them since it's really none of their business...)

    I guess my only concern with this really is that I've never... been in charge sexually... or even with a girl, and I'm worried that my inexperience will negatively affect my future sex life and make my partner feel they need to take on the dominant role cuz I'm not "doing it right" or something...

    Sorry for the long rant... I just feel self-concious about it... Can anyone please offer some words of advice?     :icon_redf
     
    #1 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  2. MerBear

    MerBear
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    its fine. personally , i'd rather have a dominant role in the relationship , now sexually ...im both...i'd rather be submissive ..but also dominant , i can't chose...which one i'd want more sexually ...its so hard
     
    #2 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
  3. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    Thanks Flyalone45 you never leave me hangin'! LoL

    I have no relationship experience with women but I always thought I preferred a more dominant role... In almost every sex dream I have I'm the dominant partner.     :redface:
     
    #3 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  4. MerBear

    MerBear
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    same here.....i mean....i always picture just a girl running her fingers through my hair ...and just loving all over me....but i also picture me kissing the back of her neck...and please ....i can't get into to details....but i think you get the idea
     
    #4 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
  5. Bree

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    No, I don't think inexperience would matter much. I know that I (very inexperienced) tend to end up in the dominant role with girls (which I don't like, by the way, although it's okay for play) who are much more experienced, and find it almost easier to figure out what to do than when in my more natural sub role--subs are usually more obvious in what they want and need, and it's harder to tell from that position whether you're giving the dom the right responses.
     
    #5 Bree, Jan 10, 2013
  6. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    Yeah, I think I'm a good mix of both feminine and masculine traits. I'm just a real laid back girl but... physically... I wouldn't say I'm laid back or laying much at all in that regard! lol People would really be surprised to know this about me though... I mean I seem so innocent... I have everyone fooled...

    Yeah, I'm really a kinda take it slow girl, so I hope that when it happens my partner is patient with me... It's a really embarrassing issue for me...
     
    #6 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  7. anko

    anko
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    Having my personality I usually see my self in the dominant role. Especially since I'd have to make all the moves if I ever want to date the girl I love right now. And when ever I have those fantasies I usually end up doing most of the work... I don't know if I prefer it, since getting swept away sounds nice, but being in the dominant role just seems natural to me. It also may be since I've never really encountered anyone bolder than myself in certain aspects. About your worry about you and your partners' sex life, I think everyone needs a little practice. If she really loves you she'll love just the fact that you're close enough to share that experience. It's nothing to be ashamed about that you're inexperienced, everyone is at one point. If you're really concerned go to a respective website and get tips or listen to others stories.

    Sorry I couldn't help too much and don't have a particular story of my one.
     
    #7 anko, Jan 10, 2013
  8. MerBear

    MerBear
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    indeed. god...its so hard....im guessing i'll have to wait and see until that special girl comes along and we magically end up in bed...then i'll get back to you. :wink:
     
    #8 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
  9. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    No that was helpful! I certainly need an understanding partner lol I've read about what to do but putting it into practice... I hope I can meet my partner's needs!

    Haha please do... I wonder what m'lady is doing right now... hmmm...
     
    #9 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  10. MerBear

    MerBear
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    i do too.....hmmm.....im in such a flirty mood right now haha, as you can tell....but then again, im naturally flirtacious
     
    #10 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
  11. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    I used to flirt with everyone... guys, girls... then I learned not to lead guys on once I discovered I didn't like them lol
     
    #11 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  12. MerBear

    MerBear
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    yeah hahaha , im better at it with girls anyways

    hey , i shared this thing i saw on Facebook on the missing girl so hopefully someone on my facebook will help out
     
    #12 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
  13. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    I'm better at it with girls too heheh...

    Yes I sure hope so!     :frowning2:
     
    #13 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  14. MerBear

    MerBear
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    i feel good i did something.
    i don't know why im better at it with girls....its exciting.
     
    #14 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
  15. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    I'm glad you did too!

    And that's cuz girls are way better! LoL     :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #15 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  16. MerBear

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    hahaha indeed they are and
    thank you :slight_smile:
     
    #16 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
  17. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    No problem!!!! :grin:
     
    #17 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  18. MerBear

    MerBear
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    :grin:

    god , i want to flirt with someone tonight. this sucks....damn. maybe i'll flirt with my best friend....haha
     
    #18 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
  19. myheartincheck

    myheartincheck
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    LoL! You totally should. My friends don't like flirting with me now that they know I actually like women... Ironic no? Watch this since its a song about flirting lol Zeromancer Flirt with me (Lyrics) - YouTube
     
    #19 myheartincheck, Jan 10, 2013
  20. MerBear

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    haha yeah. i love the song :slight_smile:
     
    #20 MerBear, Jan 10, 2013
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