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How do I act "normal" after coming out to best friend?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TheQuietTreader, Jan 10, 2013.

  1. TheQuietTreader

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    I just told my first friend who is actually a good friend of mine that I'm gay. The other people I came out to were like guinea pigs, which I feel ashamed about now.
    I was wondering how do I get back to talking normally with him? My friend received it pretty well. But he told me he's still adjusting to it. He said he researched about gays after I came out to him. Then he told me I could just be curious. Then we had this awkward conversation about who I liked (I actually like him so I told him somebody else) and just basically homosexuality.
    OK quedtion time! I guess what I'm asking is how do I try not to take some things he says about gay people in the wrong way. I know he's just wondering. And when my friend feels all his questions have been answered how will I get used to it. I think I told him before I was completely comfortable with who I am. Also, how do I make jokes out of it? So it won't seem so awkward.
    Thanks again, you people are awesome!
     
  2. Anthemic

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    First of all, congratulations on coming out to your friend! Especially at such a young age. :slight_smile:
    I'm going to assume that this is recent, so it will definitely take a little bit of time for him to adjust to it. If he ever says something that truly insults you, then let him know. I'm not sure the best way to make a joke out of it since I don't know how the younger generation reacts to certain jokes, and since this is recent. Just try to keep the jokes innocent and clean, unless he makes a joke that is PG-13, lol.
    I would suggest that you don't tell him you have a crush on him, though. This could definitely make things more awkward for you both.
     
  3. Akatosh

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    Hi Treader, I came out to my best friend a couple weeks back. We talked about it initially, and I let it sink in for him. About a week later, I told him I wanted to talk again, so we had a great discussion that was basically Q&A for the both of us. Slowly, I started mentioning gay issues casually, and now we have a fairly comfortable dialogue going. It was weird, and still is kinda weird when I think twice about it. He's my best friend for a reason; we've been through a lot together and have always been there for each other. Your friend will love you for being you, and a lot of the awkwardness is probably manifesting in your own insecurities. Totally normal! When you feel that awkward tension, take note, and ask to talk further about it. Eventually, both of your insecurities will subside.

    On the issue of liking your best friend, you should tell him, but make sure to tell him that you want to remain friends and that you enjoy his company as a friend. My friend told me he thought I was very attractive, and I was the only guy he has felt that way towards. He also stated that we're best friends, and he wouldn't change that for the world. He has a serious relationship with a woman, and I love them both. The only reason he told me that was to get it off his chest, and you should to. Our friendship is stronger now and there isn't an elephant standing in the room anymore. Be brave, it is rewarding.
     
  4. TheQuietTreader

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    Thanks Anthemic! Yes I did come out to him 2 days ago. It would still be interesting to know how you would make some jokes of it. It just seems a little tense/awkward between us right now.

    ---------- Post added 10th Jan 2013 at 10:50 PM ----------

    Oh wow andmow you commented right when I was commenting! I think I need to at least give him some breathing space before loading another burden on him :slight_smile:
     
  5. Anthemic

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    Wow! Just 2 days ago? XD That's extremely recent! If I were you, I'd wait on the jokes. Give him a little bit of time to adjust first, like maybe 2 weeks. Until then, I'll think of some clever jokes for you. :wink:
     
  6. TheQuietTreader

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    Ok thanks lol, it's just that I looked at the thread for "funny coming out stories" or whatever it was called and I'd like to have at least one of those sometime. It would be nice to look back on when I'm older.