I thought I was gay but now I'm confused again?

Sounds like your in a slum or "dry spell". It happens, don't sweat it. BTW cutting and suicide attempts are not a good way of dealing with it (just in case you didn't already know that). Find a hobby or something to keep your mind busy, stop playing with it for a while and I'm sure it'll come back around!

 

Hi Theagonist,

Have you been noticing an increased attraction to girls while all this has been going on? If not, I think you can comfortably still say that you're gay. As to the reduced libido, I can think of two things that might be the cause:

1. Your emotional distress. High stress levels definitely affect libido, especially extreme amounts that make you feel like cutting or committing suicide. What's been causing these feelings? Have you been able to talk to anyone about this stuff? A friend? A counselor? Remember, you don't have to struggle through this on your own.

2. How often would you say that you watch porn? I can't really say what's "too much" since everyone's brain is different, but if we overuse porn, our libido, ability to get erections without porn, and the sensations associated with masturbation and orgasm go down the tubes.

I'm more inclined to say it's 1 in your case, but your symptoms fit so well with 2 that I thought I'd mention it. Maybe it's a combination. You're the expert on your own life. Regardless of the cause of your low libido, definitely definitely talk to someone about the emotional distress you've been having. You deserve happiness and peace (*hug*)

 

Hi Theagnist

It's sound like you might be suffering from depression... It would help if you could talk to someone, do you have access to a counsellor or a medical doctor? Depression can be treated and you don't need to suffer from it...

 

I have exactly the same thing; came out, now not sure and everything's boring. I haven't exactly worked out a solution yet, but I did see a YT from a guy who went -gay-asexual-and back to gay a few years later. I'm hoping that'll be me, but I just try and throw myself into other things, but it is tough somedays.

 

I had sort of the same thing. I came out as gay to my family and friends back home, because I never did like girls at all, but I loved guys. Then I came to Job Corps, even though I still felt attracted to men, both intimately and sexually, I got a best friend, and she was a girl. Even though she was engaged, for some reason I started feeling attracted to her. That must have just been a phase, because I now have a boyfriend, and I can't bear the sight of seeing bare breasts, or eating carpets. That and the fact that I once saw my mom's bare breasts, and felt really nauseous. (42DDD)

 

Perhaps maybe, like the others suggest, you would benefit by talking about this to someone like a School counselor or therapist? Otherwise it sounds like your just going to be going in circles, waiting for the situation to resolve itself.

Or perhaps maybe your bipolar?

 

l went through an asexual phase after l really accepted that l was gay. l didn't want to think about it, thinking about sex only made me think about being gay.

so it doesn't mea you're NOT not gay but you don't sound like you're really attracted to women. l have emotional attractions to men too.

This kind of upsets me because l feel like we could be perfect partners but l just can't get the sexual attrcation to kick in. So it's like l have the true friend capability with men that most hetero women don't and can't be intimate with them.

Best to try and have female friends. Harder for lesbians to have straight male friends IME but l've plenty of way male friends that l related to in a unique qay. Somewhere between having a best male or female friend.