So, my best friend (the first person I came out to and someone I care about a whole hell of a lot) is incredibly depressed. She always tries to please everyone and be exactly what they need. But this has put so much pressure on her to be perfect and with music and basketball and school she has absolutely no time to just have fun and is always stressed. Not to mention her Mom who never lets her hang out with the people she wants to (and would actually have fun with) and her Mom also puts most of this pressure on her but wont have a conversation with her about it or take any blame. So basically I'm the only one shes told that she is really depressed and I don't know what to do. I'm really worried because I don't know what she might do. We talk openly about everything but she never gets any happier she just gets worse. I need help!
Growing up is tough, and people are put in situations that they just can't handle. I've come to realize that you develop impressions of what is expected of you at a very young age, and you don't even realize what is driving the unhappiness. I've also learned that there are very few people (if in fact any people) that are able to step back and look at their own problems objectively. It's almost impossible to do without the help of a professional. You're friend should speak to a counsellor or a therapist. There's no shame in doing that. If she's unhappy but doesn't know what to do about it, but wants to fix it, she should get help. There's no reason to go through life unhappy. But many people do. You're a good friend for wanting to help, but there is little you can do other than be an encouragement to her, and a source of support. Are there counsellors at your school? Could she access counselling services through her mom or dad's work? Many companies offer employee assistance programs that are available to the children and spouses of the employee. This would be free - at least at first, and could be VERY helpful. It has been for me.
