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I want to kick this a**hole

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Surviving, Jan 11, 2013.

  1. Surviving

    Surviving Guest

    I have had an unpleasant childhood with no friends and bullying. I am a closeted gay and have only revealed my sexuality to only person i loved so dearly and asked out but only to face rejection. since we both are in same school, i see him daily and it hurts me to see him cuddling with other guys and girls. he claims to be straight but his action showed me something else otherwise why would have i asked him out in the first place (see my other thread)? its been more than a year and the fact that he is around me all the time makes things worse. and on top of it, he tries to get physical with other guys when i am around. He also talks about his girlfriend and how much he loves her when i am around. I have to keep a smile on my face all the time but from inside i want to kill myself. this torture is very difficult to endure. I have no problem with being gay but why on earth had i to fall in love?
    I am from a conservative society and i am not interested in casual sex. I am a masculine guy and one of the hottest girl of the class likes me but i can't do a thing. i wish i was a straight so that i could be with this girl and show middle finger to the guy who has made my life a hell.

    I pray everyday to end this suffering. I have been crying everyday for a year now. I am not a bad guy to deserve all these sufferings.
     
    #1 Surviving, Jan 11, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 11, 2013
  2. Zaio

    Zaio Guest

    What you very clearly need to do is drop this one. You're still holding out on the hope that he's going to come out and you two can be together. Hate to burst your bubble, but that's not going to happen.

    3 things to get over someone: Space, time, and someone/something else to focus on.

    Also, here's a future tip: assume everybody is straight no matter how ambiguous their actions or motives are. This will generally make it very hard for you to start crushing on people, and don't for a second start to question their sexuality. I've been doing this for years now and haven't had one straight crush since :slight_smile:
     
  3. Surviving

    Surviving Guest

    I know i have to let it go but how? somewhere in my heart i have hopes of him liking me even though my mind says its impossible. I HAVE TO SEE HIM EVERYDAY WHICH MAKES GETTING OVER HIM DIFFICULT. had i been in no contact with him whatsoever, i would have gotten over him long back. it sucks so much
     
  4. PeteNJ

    Full Member

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    Sorry its so tough on you. Sounds like its been a hard time.

    A short suggestion -- you need to be in a place you can meet other gay guys - a GSA, LGBT group, gay sports club, whatever...

    And go there -- without the expectation of getting a date or hook up (though it's only natural to be a little excited about the idea!). Be a friend, make a friend, or two. Make a few more friends... a relationship will follow, it really will.