Ok it's been about a year and a half since I started seriously questioning my sexuality and it's been a long and painful road involving a lot of drink and drugs. I have fully come to realise and accept that I'm 100% gay. I now feel the walls of my closet are falling down around me and it's getting harder and harder to keep up the lie so I decided to come out. I am still looking for the right opportunity to do this. What I'm wondering is will this time present itself or by waiting for this opportunity will I be waiting forever and if this doesn't appear how do I steer the conversation to the topic? Any advice would be much appreciated Thank you.
Wow! Sounds like quite a journey thus far! In terms of coming out, all I can do is reference my experience: I questioned my sexuality for a long time, but only came out to myself as Bisexual about a year ago. I liked girls, but I also liked guys, sometimes one more than the other... ARRGH! It was confusing. But once my mind was made up, and I got back to the USA from overseas. I joined EC and decided I was tired of living a lie. I came out to my friends in LGBT friends first (they don't care, and it's good practice), my brother second, all of my friends third, and my parents last. The most difficult was my parents, but through all of that coming out (close to 40 people), I did not get even ONE bad reaction. I didn't lose any friends. I wasn't disowned. In other words, I got lucky... Maybe you will too! I feel better, more real, and more free than I have since I hit puberty. It is so worth it, I can't stress that enough. My advice to you is to make a list everyone important to you and come out person by person, face to face, one on one. Schedule time with people, don't wait for a conversational opening because if nobody suspects you're gay, it will never come up. Remember also that coming out to someone is an act that shows your love, respect, and trust for the person you are coming out to. It is a very powerful thing. If your family is accepting, start with them. Whoever you start with, make sure you know they will be supportive. Build a network of support that you can fall back on if something goes badly in the coming out process. But, you're right, it's time. It will eat you alive if you don't let it out, and there is nothing you can do to change who you are. You deserve happiness like everyone else, and this is the first step buddy!! I am excited for you, and I know how scary it is. But it is so worth it. Best of luck!!! -The Seeker
Hi In my opinion/expierience I would say that the opportunity very rareley just pops up,but the opportunity for you to steer the conversation in your desired direction will show up quite often. In my opinion again,you can always make an opportuity to come out,but it is more important to be ready,confident and able to do it in a calm straight forward way.If you can do it without it being a big deal,most people will not turn it into a big deal. Good luck
This is exactly how I'm feeling right now I just can't keep putting the mask on every morning anymore. I guess I just have to decide who to tell first. Thanks for the help.
Hi, I have seen a friend sabotage his secret forcing the issue out. Most any person who is closeted knows how to sabotage their secret. Start doing some of the things you want to and when the "that is gay" comment comes up move on from there. In my friends case he divorced his wife and on moving out showed up with a buddy where his x-wife knew the buddy was gay and she asked after picking her jaw off the floor. He claims he never consciously thought this might happen. It looks like he unconsciously sabotaged the secret. No reason it cannot be done nonsciously. Stuck
