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should i tell them

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MerBear, Jan 11, 2013.

  1. MerBear

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    okay this isn't on marriage equality by the way but anyways haha

    when im with my friends , they talk about how they are interested in this guy and that guy and then they always turn to me saying "your husband will be this" or "hopefully your husband will do that" and i don't want to marry a man ...and i never told them about how i was questioning my sexuality or anything and don't really want to because i just dont want them to feel weird around me or anything to change but i mean...maybe it'll change and i'll want to marry a man but right now i don't.

    i want to tell them about my crushes on girls and the experience I've went through the summer but i can't...because i just dont want anything to change

    i don't know if i should or not.

    i feel like odd because i haven't had a crush on a guy in a year and a half , i mean i do find guys attractive but i don't find the need to have sex with them or have a relationship while all my friends do which i understand but i feel weird....listening to them talk about guys when i can't exactly relate at the moment
     
    #1 MerBear, Jan 11, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2013
  2. pinklov3ly

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    I think you should tell them, but their reaction maybe positive or it could be negative. But that's the chance you're willing to take when coming out to friends and or family. My Mom still has a problem with saying, "Once I get married to a man, I'll know what it feels like to be married to my dad." I usually stop her before she has a chance to finish her sentence. I'm not surprised that she doesn't believe me when I tell her that I can only see myself with a woman. I've been kinda wishy washy for years, but that's only because I was so afraid of change. However, I've learned that it's inevitable. So, go for it! If they start acting funny then, you can always make new friends :slight_smile:
     
    #2 pinklov3ly, Jan 11, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2013
  3. MerBear

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    i just dont know how to bring it up
     
  4. FemCasanova

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    How about casually, like, the next time they bring it up, you could say something indefinite and nonchalant; "I don`t even know if I want to be with a guy, maybe I`ll go with another woman instead, at least they are easier to understand." or "Gah, why do I have to end up with a husband, maybe I want what is behind door number two?" or "I don`t really like guys that much. Just so you know."

    Something like that. It is not quite a confession (not that you owe them any!), but it will make them think about it. Sometimes it is easier to open the door bit by bit :slight_smile:
     
  5. MerBear

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    yeah my friend lauren assumes im lesbian but i don't know that for sure, i just know i have feelings for girls and not guys at the moment