I really want to go to the gay community center in my city. I haven't really had the chance to hang around the gay community so I thought this would be a good idea. However, I'm not in the shape to do so. I have a car but it needs a fuel pump. My parents don't really let me drive their vehicles as much ever since I wrecked the truck last June. My bestie doesn't have transportation either and I don't really have friends to take me. The ones I do have either can't drive yet, I'm not out to them, or both. Even if I did have transportation my parents always want to know where I'm going and I can't lie to them all the time. I can't just say "I'm going out" because then I'd have to explain where. Besides I don't like lying about where I'm going because I don't want something bad to happen and then I not be where I was supposed to be. So I'm really stuck in a pickle.:bang: Any ideas?
The immediate question, I suppose, would be "how bad do you want to go?" It sounds like you have a lot of reasons to justify not going, but is any of that your nerves trying to convince you not to give it a shot? I'm not saying I don't believe you that there are several obstacles in your way - it does sound like it will be tricky, and probably not something you can do on a regular basis. But do you think you could snag a car for one night, just to give it a shot and see how it goes? On the logistical side, if a fuel pump is what is needed to get your car up and running again, try calling up junkyards to see if you can get a spare one for cheap - it's much more cost-efficient than buying the part new from a dealer/mechanic. It might still be a small lump of cash to fix, but smaller than it would have been anyway.
I "lied" to my parents one night and got my cousin to take me there for game night but it turned out to be closed and a big waste of my time. Anyway, trust me I'm not scared at about going there and I'm not making excuses. I just don't want to have to beat around the bush every time I want to go if you know what I'm saying. I'm not worried about the fuel pump on my car as my parents are taking care of that. Once I get that, I'm sure I'll be able to figure something else out.
Well that's good - and once that's taken care of, you'll have an easier option. I do think at least one successful trip will clarify a lot of things for you - once you know what it is you're working for, it will be a lot easier to figure out what role you want this place to play in your life at the moment, and how open you want to be about it.
Hey TheAMan, All of the advice that I've read so far is great. I have every reason to believe you will receive the advice you are looking for. Two Things: One You deserve recognition for not wanting to lie to your parents. It says so much about you as an individual and a GAY MAN. Coming out is a Rite of Passage and should be Celebrated. Two Always keep the door open to your family. Your parents love you very much. As you stated yourself "they always want to know where you are going". I want to challenge you, not today, not tomorrow, but when you feel ready to tell your parents that you are interested in going to the gay community center and that you currently have a partner. I know how you feel about not wanting to explain. But that shouldn't be a reason for not trying to open new doors. -Alex ---------- Post added 12th Jan 2013 at 12:17 AM ---------- Oh and good luck!
