1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Am I genderfluid or transgender..so lost

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by tomftm, Jan 11, 2013.

  1. tomftm

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2012
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    So I'm physically female, and for the longest time I've been thinking of myself as trans for about a year...i actually got my binder and have been wearing it for about a week now. I get these feelings sometimes I want to be a girl and look really pretty, but then I want to be a boy as soon as I tell like my mom, I told her I would stop transitioning and go back last year, but then I came out again this year. For the past 2 weeks i've been having the feeling I want to be a girl...Am I gender fluid? What do I do it's so hard - i've already told my online friends i'm transgender but suddenly my mind keeps changing!
     
  2. alex408

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2012
    Messages:
    38
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Jose, Ca
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hi TOMFtM,

    It seems to me that you are very unique in the way you express yourself and you deserve credit for that. I don't know exactly what you are going through (being that I self-identify as a gay man) but nonetheless I will try to offer some suggestions in the hopes that I have helped in some way.

    Nobody can tell you what or who you are. Rather you have to tell the world who and what you are. It doesn't matter what race, sex, sexual orientation, or a million other things. The important thing is that you OWN it. The good and the bad. I will ask you to not think about male or female for a second and focus your attention on PERSON-HOOD. SOMETHING EVERYONE HAS.

    The truth is that all men have both masculine and feminine qualities within them. And this is a Great and Important thing for all people to have. I'm sure you can agree with that. Forget everything you learned about what a woman should be or what a man should be. You have a ton to offer this world!

    Consider this as you go through life.

    1. Would you say you are a person who accepts everything about yourself?

    I think both men and women have great qualities as well as not so great qualities. Being born a girl or boy doesn't matter. What matters is that you love who and what you are. And I think you represent that. And it sounds like your parents love you for you, regardless of what state you're in when you transition.

    Good luck and best of wishes.

    - Alex
     
  3. Deaf Not Blind

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2012
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    WA DC
    Gender:
    Male
    hey! I think I am transgender. I wonder if hormone fluctuations can affect a person? Sometimes I think maybe I am not trans and am faking, I can live just fine this way if I never date or marry. Then I think, I got all these really nice hats and dresses I can't ever wear again if I am a man.

    Wait a minute! 1st of all, when I dressed in dresses I saw a man in drag in the mirror and every picture. So regardless what my body looks like before or after hormones IF I really want to put on a dress I can it is just cloth. I don't really want to look female, I like how females look, and I don't actually look the way I like them to when I put it on...so I just need to realize that.

    2nd, I do have the right to express my love to others, and I should be allowed to date as everyone else does...if it is a girl or a guy.

    3rd, if I am faking, I have been faking since I was a kid, off and on, decades of it, and I was not happy faking being a girl all that time. I am happy not faking being a girl now.

    So, you have options. One, maybe with T in your system it will make some of the female thinking fade if it is hormone caused. Two, maybe you don't need to transition and can live female when you want and male the rest of the time...genderfluid. Three, maybe you are not male at all, in which case you are some tomboy! :grin:

    What do you think?