This is kinda complicated. So first off, I'm gender fluid, prefer female pronouns, but am physically male (confusing right? ) and completely closeted. My best friend is this girl in my school. Our relationship is really weird. I "dated" her twin sister last year (I regret that thoroughly, and I don't think it counts since it was 8th grade). Me and my crush (M) got really close this year as we are both in marching band. This caused us to be together for 3-6 hours a day, six days a week. It got to the point where everyone thought we were dating, even though we weren't. On the day I was planning to tell her my feelings, another guy came along. He is 16, me and M are 14, and this dude has had a crush on her for a year. First thing he says to her is "don't get into relationships with other marching band kids, it'll never work out" and if course, with that, and the fact that this boy is the perfect human being, they began dating in a week. I was so crushed, but I didn't want to let my feelings get in the way of our friendship, or get relationship. Of course, this guy hated my guts, because he could tell I liked M. Me and M began to drift apart, and just stopped talking. That left me friendless (unless you count the people I hang our with as friends, but today, they told me "we hate each other, and we only keep you around to take out all our anger" basically they just like to crush my emotions). Anyway, two months later, M and her boyfriend broke up because of his ex-girlfriend threatening him or something. Anyway, now (about a month after the break up) M and I are hanging out again, but she just doesnt seem as interested as she did before. I, of course, still feel so deeply in love with her. She's the only person who knows I'm pansexual, and she's also pansexual. I want to tell her how I feel, but I feel like any chance of romantic relationship is lost, and even if it's not, I imagine my gender issues would cause problems. I just don't know what to do I would appreciate any help
She probably grew distant with you since you didn't give any sign of wanting to be closer. If you seriously think that she was into you before, I suggest telling her you like her. Don't be desperate and clingy; instead focus on just being honest, and accepting. Say something like "I really like you, you make me happy, do you feel the same?". Perhaps write it in a letter, letters always help to say what you really mean without things being awkward. Give it to her and then tell her to open it later. Give her time to think about things so she doesn't have to make a snap-decision.
