I'm so tired of it all. This isn't just about being gay, not having the social skills that the majority of people take for granted or anything else specific. I just feel so sick and tired. Like in my previous thread. I'm happy being a loner, really I am but it seems the more I shut myself off from people the more people hate me for it because they don't understand. Idle chit chat just bores me to death. I don't want to and nor do I have any interest and I feel pressures because everyone is this normal socialising person and I don't fit the norm so am pushed aside. I don't care. At work I just wanna do more job and go home. But I always have this nagging feeling like I should be but at the same time I'm quite happy not to. Since I've accepted the fact that am a loner I feel happier. I just know it worries my parents because what am gonna do if something happens to them. And... I dunno where I'm going with this since its starting to give me a headache. People think talking and being confident and socialising is easy but I don't know how and I don't want to talk to people unless I have to. And I'm not saying if I was straight I'd be dufferent cuz I sure as hell wouldn't. I just think being gay adds that little difficulty in an already difficult life. I'm just sick and tired. :bang:
well, think of it this way, even people, sometimes shy or not, might engage in conversation with someone not their friends, such as a register cashier, a waiter, a sales person, whatever. those conversations might not be deep, but doesn't have an attachment to it, and yet they are in a way socializing, and chit chat. (maybe not idling since there are other customers lol) you don't have to cut yourself off from people completely, you can still maintain a level of mild conversation that is not too deep also, i haven't seen ur other thread:/
do you have any social interaction at work like in the back? could you come in a bit earlier and play a game of pool? many supermarkets like the one you work in do. could start up a pool tournament or something, just shove a notice on the canteen door and see how many would be up for it. or if you have a wii or something have just dance tournaments or something. or maybe if there is a footie game on you could come in a bit earlier before your shift and watch 10 mins of it before you start, its socialsing but subtly you may not think talking to customers at work isnt socialising but it is. maybe one shift if youre not on tills you could shift swap and be on tills for one shift. push you out of your comfort zone just once, it would only be 4 hours. time flies on tills trust me! for me customer interaction that is enough these days. apart from when i go down to see my friends in england like twice a year. i get by just fine. work usually have work nights out. if going out drinking isnt your thing maybe put a notice on the canteen door to say 'thinking of doing xyz (like going cinema) who would be up for it'. its cheaper in a group ticket ;D yes at work lots of our notices get put on the canteen door
Stuff in the first paragraph will not work. I dont want to work on tills unless I have to. Work did have a xmas night out but i didnt go cuz it was the whole getting drunk thing. Just ugh Notices like that dont get put up and im not about to start. Thanks But im my own worst enemy which is why i think its best i stay a loner
I understand where you're coming from, being a loner myself and also having had to deal with people not understanding or appreciating the fact that for people who are introverted or shy, becoming more social and confident is not as easy as flipping a switch or forcing oneself to experience uncomfortable situations. Indeed, it's hard for others to appreciate that introverts may not actually want to be social and confident because it's simply not in our nature, and give us the benefit of the doubt out of respect. Unfortunately for us, this means that we're simply labeled as outcasts or weirdos because too many people view the world in purely black and white terms. It's so frustrating that people just don't bother to understand or empathize with others unlike them. The question of whether we try to change ourselves to fit in or whether we stay true to ourselves and all the risks that entails has to be answered by each individual, and there's no good answer that fits everyone.
