Hey, By now, after much internal debate, I have come to the conclusion that I am at the very least bisexual with a preference for women. It feels weird writing that, but it's true. This has brought about a number of issues. Firstly, I keep outing myself to various people while drunk. Obviously, I've brought this on myself, and so don't really have the right to complain, but I'm working on it and haven't done it since around a month ago, when I outed myself to a boy who I know through some mutual friends, who also happens to be gay. The fact that he's gay himself means that I'm not overly worried about him knowing, but am a bit embarrassed regarding the circumstances under which he found out. I'm worried he'll share the information with our friends, or that he sees it as some kind of attention-seeking move. I know these worries are pointless, but I guess I'm just looking for some outside outside input/reassurance. Secondly, I'm unsure about what to do about my living situation next year. I'm currently living with 4 girls, they all know I'm not straight. None of them are bothered, and in that respect, I'm very at ease with all of them. However, 3 of them are moving away next year, and so I'm looking for somewhere else to live. There is a group of 5 new girls who I could potentially move in with, however, given that they are under the impression that I am straight, I feel uncomfortable with the prospect of us living together. The obvious option seems to be for me to just tell them, right? On paper, I agree, however, I just have this feeling that I shouldn't, and I can't shake it off. By telling them, I'm pretty much indirectly outing myself to everyone at college, and I don't know if I'm ready for that. Do you think I should just go for it, or move in with them without telling them? I guess I'm going to be somewhat uncomfortable either way. They're nice girls, but they're all very set in their ways and I am very unsure as to how they would take to living with a largely gay girl. Basically, my choices are 1) move in with them, or 2) continue to live with the girl I live with at the moment (who knows I am not straight but who is also very hard work to live with in almost other respects for a variety of reasons that would take all day to detail. Thirdly, my parents. I told them in a very stressful phonecall about a year ago that I am bisexual. I know I'm very fortunate in the fact that they didn't disown me or anything, don't get me wrong. However, in recent months, I've been beginning to think I might be kidding myself on the bi front. I'm an only child and my parents are only children, so I don't know how to break it to them that I don't see myself marrying a man, as I'm the only "child" my family has and I feel very under pressure to conform. I just really don't want to disappoint them, but I know it'll half kill them if I tell them the truth. Sorry this is so long-winded, but I could really do with some second options as to what I should do! Thanks so much
Honestly, I wouldn't tell the people you are planning on moving in with that you are gay. It's not really any of their business unless you are planning on bringing girls home with you. However, if and when you decide to bring a girlfriend over you can tell them then. In terms of your family, it sounds like your parents love you and would accept you no matter what. It takes time for parents to get used to their child's sexuality and it may take yours a bit longer since you are an only child. Don't feel pressured into conforming to society's idea of a family. You can have a wife and still have kids. You can't choose your sexuality.
