It's funny, I've been struggling with my sexuality for my entire life (I'm in my late 20s). I'm in a career which does not accept gay males very openly but it's ok for lesbians. It's funny, I think this is mainly because males work in this line of work and when we get the occasional female, it's almost always a give-in they are lesbian. Anyways, that's not why I'm posting just got a bit side tracked. **Possible Shamless (US) spoliers I guess?** Recently I just started watching Shameless for the first time and finished the 1st season. It's funny how similar Ian and I are. It was interesting to watch a fictional TV character sitting on the couch with a girl, Mandy, who really wants to have sex with him and him trying everything to get around doing it without telling her. I can really relate to this because I currently have a girlfriend and I try not to put myself in the situation of any major physical contact with her other occasionally having sex with her. I guess on some deep level, I am slightly attracted to women but the male attraction overpowers it. I guess it's also because I know deep down I don't want her to get too emotionally attached to me because I'm a freaking fraud. Now I'm sure most of you are thinking I'm a complete asshole for having a girlfriend but let me explain. Up to that episode of Shameless, I thought I could suppress my gay feelings and just live a normal life but for some reason it really got me thinking about how unhappy I will be for my entire life if I did that. I watched as Ian told Mandy he was gay and it got me thinking I should do the same. It's not fair to my girlfriend to keep pretending I can make her happy and me happy by lying to myself. I guess I've finally come to the realization I'm gay and need am almost over the fear of everyone finding out. [rant] On another side note, for fucks sake..it's the 21st century and this country is still judging people by something which is none of their damn business to begin with. [/rant] Anyways thanks for listening to my blabbering.
Shameless is great. Ian's an awesome character. I feel like many LGBT people who may watch the show would be able to relate to Ian's situation in some way or the other, after all the boy's got a few: sleeping with a closeted older married man, trying to be straight (briefly), being found out instead of coming out, dating his pretend girlfriend's brother in secret (another closet case), I mean the guy's got a lot going on. But anyway, yeah you should definitely think about being honest with her. And hey, I'm not saying you owe her to tell her you're gay--something like that depends on how long she's been in your life/you've been dating and really that's just a personal thing you're not obligated to tell anyone, so I'm not gonna say "tell her" or "don't tell her" on that, up to you--but you do owe her to simply be honest about if you want to be with her or not. Because you fancy the lads, the truth is you don't want to be with her. Broken down to the simplistics, whether LGBT or straight, people shouldn't stay in relationships their hearts aren't in. That's the bottom line of it. It does nuttin' good for no one. Breaking up with her would be good for both of yous simply because, whether she knows the real reason or not, the reality is you're not into her and she can tell (distance speaks and he's a loud fuck.) You owe it to anyone you're gonna be with to have actual feelings for them otherwise everyone's time's gettin' wasted and their feelings played with. So yeah...now I feel like I'm blabbering. haha I hope through all that I made some kind of point. I mean you already know what you're gonna do so I'm not really telling you anything new, but uh...there's my thoughts on it. Let us know how it goes, yeah? Cheers and good luck.
Hey there...how are you doing? I'm guessing your in one of those professions like a linemen, firemen or construction worker, all guys. I've have had friends in all of those professions, as well as being in a similar one for awhile, and well....there a different breed. It's that lack of female influence that creates testosterone excess spill over. Makes it really difficult for a gay guy. But you might be surprised at how most might react. It may not be as bad as you thing. Check out some of Joey4 earlier posts.....
You can still remain discreet and closeted WITHOUT having a girlfriend. It really isn't fair ti her, but I can't really judge because I've been in your shoes before. Trust me, before your relationship goes deeper (e.g. increased emotional attachment), you need to find a way out it. Your lack of desire for physical contact with her screams gay. Someone who is bi would take any opportunity to have sex with his girlfriend because there's actual sexual attraction there. You can either tell her the truth of your sexuality or you can tell her you are not ready for commitment or something along those lines. As far as work, again you don't have to advertise your sexuality. I'm 22 and have been discreet about my sexuality since I began liking guys around age 13. It's my own personal business and I would only tell people I truly trust and know would support me. You can pretend to be straight at your work, but don't continue with a straight relationship. It really screams disaster.
