Yo yo yo, another rant from Ashton Tonight I went to a strip club with my friends and watch the beautiful ladies dance but it was just really annoying (all of them are into women except me). I had a ridiculous amount of ladies come on to even once they found out that I'm gay. They were paying more focus to me than the straight guys even though guys that were waving $40+ at them, and I now I hate myself so much for being trans and not liking women. I think it's SO much easier to be trans and straight! 1% of the population is gay, so I have fuck all chance of even meeting a guy I like. I wish I was cis or fucking dead. Haven't felt this depressed in so long. Hmphhh. Being trans is bullshit + being gay is bullshit. One of the people I went out with tonight is my ex and we broke up when I came out as trans and that has impacted my nights out a lot. Fuck being trans! I may feel more comfortable and socially acceptable as a man, nut I've never felt like such an outsider cunt in my life. mMmmm /:
It's tough, isn't it? Like, I, just a gay male, but I get your frustrations. You're ok. We all go through this. Why do people bring up the population thing? It's a depressing, stupid thing. I know it's got to be false. There are tons of people who are in the closet. My best friend is over, and I have had the time to talk to her about my frustrations. I have never had a relationship that meant something. I've never had anything meaningful. It SUCKS. I have a great life - but this section sucks. You'll find your way. We are here to talk and help. You have all the factors that just make it hard. But you will find your way. Just take the pressure off. Don't expect everything. It will only make things bad.
I can't even pretend to know what you're going through right now as a cis male. But I can at least tell you that being dead is certainly worse than where you are now. I'm sure that you have lots of people that care about you - parents, friends, etc. So please don't do anything that would put them in distress. As for going to strip clubs and not feeling anything - been there, done that. Last time was several years ago at my brother's bachelor party (which was quite fun, but not for sexual reasons like they're "supposed" to be). And being trans does not make you an "outsider cunt" - you are who you are, and if that's male, then that's male!
Damn, I'm sorry you are going through this. I have felt the same way, about being trans. I'm really sorry.
Sometimes I feel the same, but I soon realize that I don't hate 'being gay', I hate that the bullshit that has to come with it from other people. I don't know if it'll be any different...
UK population: 62,641,000 1% gay = 626,410 1/2 approximately are male = 313,205 males some will be too young or too old, but I think you see that you have several hundred thousand gay men in UK to play for. Chill out! You are just making yourself sad for nothing...looking at odds and facts, you got plenty of men waiting.
