So Maybe you guys should get caugh up be looking at a few of recent threads before answering this. Did I make the right choice? I mean yeah Im happy but Ive got that constant "missing out on something" feeling and well do I really wanna be like this at 32, 42 or 52 and sometimes I think "yeah I do" but then other times I think " what if at 32 or 42 or whatever I look back and think, I wasted all that time" and by then things would be sorta stuck that way. I dont know what to do cause I like this way and am scared of changing and other times I wish I could change and be a little more outgoing and enjoy life cause at the moment am sorta in the middle. I met with a guy last Monday, who runs a support drop in type thing for gay men and he recommened I go and see this other guy for some one on one support and see about joining the social type group that that guy runs. I agreed but come Thursday I e-mailed and cancelled the whole thing. I didnt wanna do it. Its like theres two of me. Half of me likes it this way and the other half doesnt. I do try and talk but I just seem to stumble on fall everytime that I think maybe I should just give up. I either run out of things to say or cant think of anything to say full stop. :eusa_doh: I cant start a conversation because I think they might think am stupid or something and I cant deal with talking in big crowds of people. I sometimes struggle to look people in the eye when talking to them as well. Im so torn about what to do. I turn 23 on Sunday coming and then before I know it another year will fly by and I'll be 24. Changing things just seems so difficult. I just dont know whether am capable of it all or whether am tryimg to be something am not. :help:
I think maybe nobody knows which threads you are referring to. But I kind of worry like you. I have been dating my girlfriend for well over a year and before I was great with it but now I'm like "What if someday we aren't together and I look back and wish I had dated around because I missed out on that experience in college?" I know I suffer from anxiety but I have a lot of trouble dealing with it. You may have anxiety too. Have you tried to see a counselor about this? They could help you talk everything out and figure out if there is something that is subconsciously stopping you from socializing. They could even help you work on it by giving you techniques to help you adjust. I am seeing a counselor and it helps to just have a real person to talk to who knows my story, you know?
This being one thread http://emptyclosets.com/forum/chit-chat/80318-im-loner-am-happy-proud.html ---------- Post added 14th Jan 2013 at 05:18 PM ---------- I tried a counsellor back when I was in uni and it didn't work at all
I don't see why being a loner or being sociable should be a binary choices that you have to commit to. You've been invited to dabble in the latter. It sounds like a different situation to talking to colleagues or other students or however else people socialise, so conversation may well be easier. In one on one a support environment at least, you could say what you say here. If it doesn't work out, can't you just go back to your company? Sorry if I'm too biased towards meeting people; I feel like I'm missing out too, it's just that I'm certain that I'm not satisfied with what I have.
This is something I can relate to completely. When I was younger I cut myself off from just about everyone but family, because people made me feel uncomfortable. Now that I've sorted out most of the issues I have, half of me feels the need widen my social circle. The other half rebels against that idea. I think that's mainly because being around people has become so unfamiliar. I also took a look at your previous thread. In the past, you said you tried to be more social because other people told you to. If it's not something you personally want, of course it won't make you happy. But now, if part of you wants to change, maybe you should give it a try. Is there any way you can set up another one on one meeting? It couldn't hurt to at least try, right? You could always go back to where you are now if you decide being a loner is what you truly want.
