dont know if you saw the thread but 3 weeks ago me and my dad fell out in a strange scenario where it escalated out of nowhere to it ended up him hitting me 3 times. Eventually that night he apologised but i didnt forgive him and i havent spoken to him since. The 2 main reasons why are 1)It's not just that he hit me (which was bad enough) especially at how his anger escalated, but it's the fact he hit me and didnt regret it instantly and in fact hit me again and then charged at me and hit me a 3rd time. The second reason isnt exactly his fault but i was on a major downer that week (in particular from the friday to that monday night (xmas eve)) and that happened had an affect on me. Ive never had a falling out with him like this before. Longest I fell out with him was a week a year before but although i have moments i feel sad about it (i actually felt sorry for him being outcasted by my mum my sister and myself on xmas day even though he ruined out xmas) there are moments when i relive what happened on xmas eve and i get pissed off and wish i knocked him out (i actually resisted hitting him until the 3rd time when he ran accoss the living room to take me down and i gave him a black eye in self defence) and although as ive said ive felt sad about it BUT I havent ever wanted to talk to him about it. I've always said "if im going to speak to him, i couldnt be sober" and at that i know i shouldnt talk to him drunk but even when i see him and im drunk i dont even want to vent at him
If he is genuinely sorry and is taking steps to ensure that it doesn't happen again then I say yes, forgive him. That is, if you still want to have any form of relationship with him. No parent should ever beat up their own child, no matter how angry they are. But that goes without saying.
on xmas day my dad gave me and my sister a card each with £100 and said he apologises for what happened that night. I still have the money lying on my chest of drawers because i dont want to take his money but at the same time dont want to give him it back. I get my dad we are very similar i know he wasnt merely trying to buy me over with the money it was a way of saying he's sorry but honestly the only other contact we've had since then is him asking if i need to pee before he goes in a bath. he's ignored me as much as ive ignored him. technically he has apologised but that is it-a drunken hug and giving me money the next day. but even if he said "can we talk about it" id tell him to fuck off. I have enough problems in my life than this
Hmmm maybe the fact that your both like eachother is the problem. Neither of you is willing to make the first move and say something. But I guess if you have enough problems to deal with then I guess your dad can wait. Did you mean forgiving your dad yourself or actually saying to your dad that you forgive him?
Things are different. I wouldn't be totally buddy buddy, because you were hit. But let to,e pass.- just DO NOT leave things unturned. If you decide to not remain,make it mutual. Make it understandable.
If that's the case I do think my dad should he the bigger man nit only because he is in the wrong but because he is my dad. Yes I'm technically a grown up but fact is he chose to have me as his child. But maybe he knows ill just throw it back in his face because that's what I'd do. It is something that bothers me but it doesnt preoccupy me. It gives me moments of nger but they are very short. Funny thing is my "problems" are probably a smaller deal than this but they preoccupy me. Like my insecurities, my inferiority complex, my crush on one of my bffs, my slight drinking problem (well that could be classed as serious)
