Hello everyone, I am Louis here, to two friends, and soon to a support/social group for transmasculine individuals. However, to the average person I meet on a day to day basis, I go by my given, female name, and I look like a woman. I have not dated much at all, and I am not attracted to very many people. However, every once in a while, I will meet someone, and we will be mutually attracted. They are usually straight men or lesbians. So, you see the problem... I will be having a good time talking to this new person- perhaps we met in class and are enjoying coffee together afterwards, flirting a bit- then it gets to the point where s/he obviously wants to get closer or asks me out. It is at this point I become completely clueless about how to proceed. Do I, visually a woman wearing ordinary womanly clothes just say "Oh, sure, we can go out on a date if you want, but just be warned, I'm probably a man." ..? Should I go out with them then explain it on the date? Then I think, do I want to have to explain something I don't even talk about with close friends, something I barely understand myself to a near stranger who may have an unpleasant reaction? I typically make up an excuse not to see the person again, or I friendzone them fast. I am pansexual myself, and I know other people are as well, but I do not know of any pansexual only dating arenas. (besides, I rarely meet people I am attracted to when I am trying. It just happens.) I know no one can tell me just what to do, but it would be interesting to hear from anyone who has had similar experiences or has thoughts on the matter. Sometimes I think I cannot really date until I am sure, accepting, out, and confident about my gender identity, and sometimes that thought depresses me as such clarity seems a long way off. :dry:
