Honestly I feel like I'm just going to fall down and just not get up. Why? Because no one would be there to help me up. I feel like shit. Absolute shit. I could probably count the number of friends I have anymore with one hand. I don't even know who my friends are, I don't know who/what to believe, I give up. I haven't felt this down in a long time, and the last time I did it was bad. Not cutting/going to commit suicide bad, but just bad I mean I get to these periods where it's like 'f*** yeah, I've got friends, ftw!' but then within a week it switches to 'f*** this, the world hates me, fml!" I'm in one of those periods now and I personally don't want to be around anyone. Most recently I'd been talking with my friend Matt...now we aren't. He's probably my most supportive friend with being bi as well as other random things, especially my writing (granted his support is debatable since he's never actually READ my writing). Now it's gone to he won't respond to my texts. (To make it better, he recently got an iPhone so I can see that he read my texts but decided not to respond.) I mean he was home for practically an entire week (he had surgery on his shoulder last week) and even complained on Twitter about having no one to talk to...I text him, he doesn't respond. Then there's Nate. My friendship has always been debatable with him, especially after I came out to him. He's a homophobe but I've helped make him at least slightly more open minded. He is actually the only person who knows my current guy crush, Tyler, because I think I can trust him. But then there's times where I don't know if I can. For instance he has agreed with me on many occasions that Alex (best friend/ex best friend/debatable froendship) is a total douchebag but almsot everytime at bowling practice he's all happy and nice with them. Alex is always going over to Nate and talking to him and Nate isn't bothered at all by him. How? I have no idea. The whole texting thing with Matt is the same with Nate (except he decudes to text me at 11:15 every night...weird). Then there's Alex. I don't know what's up with him but just talking about him gets on my nerves, so I'll be short. We're hardly even friends anymore. He doesn't tell me shit, and this has been going on forever. Fuck it. I'm just done. I can't do any of this anymore. We were at bowling practice, I was obviously pissed off/mad/upset and how many people noticed enough to say something? One fucking person! My friend Tristan sat down at the table I was at and just bluntly said 'dude, what's wrong?' to which I nodded my head towards Alex who already assumes I hate him. Any help...encouragement...anything would be helpful..? Thanks..
I feel bad that no one has responded. Just know that you're not alone. My closest friend moved two hours away and there's really no one else. And every time I think I find a new friend...I get left in the cold. I wish I had some words of advice or encouragement but right now I'm pretty much in the same situation. :tears:
That makes three of us Best friend died three years ago and because I had really bad depression my "friends" stopped hanging out with me and stopped calling me It sucks man, it really does...I wish the ec community was an actual place cause I'd go there instantly and make friends with the two of u
