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Will friends want to live with me if they know I'm a homo?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Asari, Jan 15, 2013.

  1. Asari

    Regular Member

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    I have two great friends at my school. We were roommates last semester and we instantly hit it off as friends. Unfortunately they are very conservative christians and not accepting of gays. I'm pretty sure they know I'm gay or at least started to suspect because I've hinted it a lot. I think they are growing more accepting. Most of my christian friends have grown to accept me even though they have their own beliefs.

    So they just asked me if I want to get a house with them next semester. But I need to know that they will be ok with living with an openly gay woman because by then I hope to be fully out. I worry how they will act if I bring home a girfriend.

    Should I tell them and see how they feel? I feel like this would be way better then living with strangers (what I'm doing now)
     
  2. travis263

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    I am in the same position. I have to room with some of my close friends next year but they don't know I'm gay, although I think one knows/suspects. My plan is to come out to them soon so they don't feel like I'm lying to them in the future if we do end up rooming together. I'm pretty sure your friends will have no problem with what you tell them.
     
  3. jargon

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    Definitely tell them first! Especially if you plan on being fully out in the semi-near future anyways, it sounds like your friends might be ok with it, and on the unfortunate chance that they arent, you'll at least not end up in an awkward situation that you didnt want to end up in.
     
  4. Asari

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    Thanks for the advice. I keep trying to tell them but I keep chickening out. I'm so afraid they won't want to be my friend anymore.
     
  5. livinglifefree

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    I had to come out to one of my friends last year because she wanted to live together. I think the respectful thing to do is let them know up front so you know if it will be a problem or not. In my case, my friend still wanted to live together and she had previously been a homophobe.
     
  6. Naomilly92

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    I think if you're planning to live with them, you need to tell them you're gay. The chances are they could find out. It'll be better if you tell them now and know how they feel about it, rather than moving in with the, and then later finding out they don't accept you. Best of luck, I hope everything works out whichever decision you make.

    P.s. you're not a "homo", you're a gay woman :slight_smile:
     
  7. RueBea85

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    I agree with what the other posters have said, I think it would be best to tell them before you move in. If by chance they aren't accepting of it, it would be better to know now then to realize when you're all moved in together. It could make your situation really uncomfortable and finding another place to go may be harder. So I think it would be better to let them know, that way it's out in the open. You don't have to worry about it accidently slipping out.