I have really low self esteem. One of my main problems is that I used to be a fat child. My parents said I wasn't, but from pictures, I know that I was. I am now 15 (almost 16) and I do have a bit of an eating problem. It's not that I don't eat, I just don't eat a lot. Having an extremely painful case of mono a few months back didn't really help that either. I'm 6 feet tall, and I weigh 130 pounds. I know this isn't fat, and I know it is actually under what I should weigh (I should add that I have a chronic illness which disables me from working out for now) but I just can't shake the idea that my body doesn't look good. What hurts the most is there is nothing I can do about it at the moment! Believe me, going from mildly fit to this is brutal. I wish I could play sports or workout and get into shape, but I physically can't. So, my question to you great, supportive people, is how have you dealt with your self esteem issues and can you give me some advice on how I can enjoy my body again with out feeling so fat!
Unfortunately, I'm suffering from body image-related self-esteem issues as well and can't offer much in the way of advice because I also need it. I have a problem that is somewhat the opposite of yours--I'm overweight, and my parents drive me crazy with their imploring of me to work out more in order to look svelte and athletic. As for how I deal with my self-esteem issues, I have a hard time doing anything but feeling self-pity and guilt because I've been told constantly that being fat is bad for your health and your image. My friends helped me out in this regard, but they have just made me develop conflicting feelings about whether or not to lose weight (and for whom I'm doing it).
I strongly recommend the work of Dr. Brené Brown, a brilliant researcher who has studied self esteem, shame, and the issues that get in the way of living fully and wholeheartedly. She has three excellent TED videos, all available for free on Youtube. Her book "The Gifts of Imperfection" talks about these issues in more detail and provides ten guideposts to help live more fully and let go of the shame that creates the self-esteem issues. Learning to love yourself as you are is probably one of the most important lessons anyone, but particularly LGBT people, can learn, and her work is, to me, probably the best way to start down that path.
I totally agree with your own statement; your weight is fine, if not a little below. If you'd like to raise it up, you could always moderately increase your daily caloric intake, plus add some protein supplements onto it to help you maintain muscle mass. Being a little under or a little over is fine though. What's key is that you feel healthy. Don't worry about being attractive, because I can assure you that at that weight, you look fine. My policy when it comes to feeling good about myself is that, as long as I look "decent"; good enough that people won't projectile vomit when they see me, I'm fine. Looking fantastic sure can help when it comes to the romance department, but most people get along fine having decent looks, with attractive personalities. Having a good personality (i.e having a variety of interests, being kind, being sensitive, ambition to develop yourself, etc) is the key to building real relationships. As long as you look good enough that you're average attractiveness (and at that weight, I'm sure you look fine, perhaps even good), people will get to know you. If they find that you have a wonderful personality, they may even love you ^_^. Looking like Brad Pitt may help you get laid on a whim, but it's the personality that is key to finding someone worthwhile. I know it sounds cliche, but trust me, very few people go through life without ever finding anyone, and the ones that do usually do so because they don't get out enough to meet people, or never take risks with relationships.
