Okay here we go. I don't even know where to start actually. I guess I'll say that I don't know my sexual status? See, it's a weird thing. Ever since I can remember I've had crushes on girls. I've had 5 girlfriends in the past and I never questioned my sexuality until around-- I don't even know how it started, I just seemed to be more interested in guys. Let me say, by the way, that I've always had more female friends than male friends. So of course, my guy friends always joked around "oh you must be gay" and you know, just friendly teasing? So all throughout 7th and 8th grade I considered myself to be straight regardless of practically everyone thinking I'm gay... Even without people saying it I could just tell they were thinking it. But recently I began wondering if really am? Last summer I made an account on meetme.com that had me down as gay (just to poke around - no pun intended). I began talking to a guy and I really started to like him and thought I was "turning" gay. I don't even know where I'm going with this- lets skip to present day. I'm 14, soon to be 15. I'm a freshman. Practically everybody is my friend. My best friend is a girl and I kind of think I might have a 'thing' for her? But I don't check girls out- I check guys out, and I have 100million boy-crushes (almost literally). Like, girls don't turn me on in any way, but guys definitely do. I know 0 people anywhere near me that are gay. My family is homophobic and same goes for most of my extended family. There's 1 gay guy I talk to who is from another state and is 21 (not any sort of sexual relationship, just friendly talking and advice). People still ask my mentioned best friend if I'm gay (she tells them no). But I think I am? Either way, I pretend I'm not. (Can I pretend to not be something I might not be anyways?). I don't know, I'm just really confused and I have a lot of things I have bottled up, and a lot of secrets I keep from people; which kind of hurts because I feel like I'm living a big lie. I don't know what I'm asking.... I guess I just need to do something about all of this, and I'm looking for any sort of advice. :help: Thank you!
Come out to someone. Just one really close friend. I know i make it sound way simple, but once upon a time if felt that way and coming out to my friend and having someone to talk to about anything really made me relax and not stress so much. As far as being interested in a girl: it's okay. Give it a try. maybe she's the one you come out to?
It sounds like you're going through that stage that most people go through. Not everyone dates both sexes, but if you're interested, and always have been then it's safe to say that you're probably bisexual. My first encounter was with a boy, but of course i've dated women too ( for me it's just not the same, relationship-wise ). Just be careful and run with it, see where it goes. It's more who you're heart's with than what is in their pants.
Thanks for replying, but I don't know if I can "come out" because I don't know if I'm gay or bi in the first place? ---------- Post added 16th Jan 2013 at 03:44 PM ---------- Thank you. And I kind understand what you mean about relationships, but emotionally I would rather have a girlfriend than a boyfriend, no idea why either
There are some people in the community who will swear by this belief that they knew they were interested in the same sex for as long as they could remember. While that may be true for some people, we are all our own person and while our common bond may be our sexuality, we're all vastly different people into different things. It sounds like you're going through what a lot of us (me included) went through. You realize you have potential same sex attraction and you're wondering, "Am I gay?", "Am I bi?", or even "Maybe I just see beauty in all people but I'm still straight?" No one can tell you what you are but you. You don't need to out yourself to anyone, but I would suggest if you have a very close female friend (in my experience women are much more accepting) tell her you've been noticing some guys are attractive and rely on the friendship to guide you to your answer.
