1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

so I met this girl...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by always true, Jan 15, 2013.

  1. always true

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    I am still not sure about my sexuality. I am pretty sure I am a least bi but maybe a full lesbian. But anyway ....
    I met this this I girl at the bar. She approached me. We talk and danced and exchanged numbers. I hung out with her and her friends on two seperate nights. SHE texted me first. And always hugs me every time. I don't know if she likes me more than a friend.

    I am scared that if she does like me more that I am leading her on and I am not even sure who I am.
    I like her personality and all her friends and I kinda could picture myself with her.

    Maybe I am just scared or over thinking all of this.
    I have never been a relationship before but Ihave slept with two men. I haven't been involved with a
    With a girl in that way.

    Opinions? ??
     
  2. Ditz

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2012
    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    South Africa
    She sounds nice, is she gay or bi? If she is and you are attracted to her, would it be a bad thing if things developed further between the two of you? I guess you will never know if you don't take the risk of finding out...
     
  3. 4AllEternity

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2012
    Messages:
    530
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Well, it's a little harder to tell when it comes to girls, since you tend to be more intimate with fellow friends than guys do (girls often express physical affection for each other, like hugging, poking, etc, etc, whereas guys tend to be more like "Hey dude" "Sup." xD). However, I'd say that there's a good chance she likes you. The fact that she's taking the initiative, hugs you a lot, danced with you, etc, suggests the distinct possibility that she likes you. I'd get to know her a little more, see if any more signs pop up (i.e she starts talking about how she supports homosexual people). If you're confident enough, you could always mention off-hand that you're lesbian, or bring up the topic of gay marriage and see where it goes.
     
  4. musicgeek13

    musicgeek13 Guest

    Just ride it out and see where things go. If you guys hit it off and decide to date, that's awesome, if not, you still gained a friend
     
  5. mariebmcd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2013
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maynard, MA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm so thankful you wrote this post. I am in a similar situation. I'm been lurking around EC trying to find a post I could relate to! I've dated guys for a long time but recently I had been more open to the idea of dating women. Honestly, I'm still not sure where I sit with this myself. I guess I had never really thought about it before.

    About three months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years. I live in a new area and I'm making new friends from school (graduate school) and in town. I met this one girl through a mutual friend about a month or so ago and we have been talking and hanging out on a regular basis. I feel an interesting vibe between us but I'm really not able to discern if this is a romantic feeling or just us both being excited about having a new friendship. I feel like I'm always excited when I start new relationships (friends or otherwise, regardless of gender). It's just always is exciting, new and interesting. However this time for me I feel differently about it and I'm sure its a combination of how quickly we have become friends and my new openness to dating women. Whatever the case may be, I however, am just plain hesitant.

    I have an understanding that I need to do some more 'exploring' and self reflection before I actually figure out if this is a passing feeling or if I truly am open to dating both men and women. I'm not quite ready to label myself especially since I've never had a romantic relationship with another woman.

    I'm curious and interested to see where things go. I'm unsure of her sexual orientation and I'm afraid to over invest romantically or (for lack of a better term) get my hopes up. In a way I'd like an 'answer' to my self discovery phase but I know its not that easy. I've considered broaching the subject but I don't want to freak her out or push her away as she is one of my few friends in town.

    I feel like we're in the same boat...
     
  6. always true

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    The girl is gay. She has a girlfriend at the moment. She doesn't text much but she drops little hints. Like "ladies are allowed to stay if they want" and a lot of eye contact.
     
  7. mariebmcd

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2013
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maynard, MA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hmmm I feel like I wouldn't know how to approach the situation. If she were single I might be a bit more forward but since she isn't and you haven't shared your feelings (about questioning your sexuality) it might be difficult to navigate.

    Is she under the impression that you are straight and only interested in men?
     
  8. always true

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    She like doesn't like her girlfriend at all. They have only been together for two weeks. She said she was crazy and wants to break up with her. All her friends don't like her girlfriend either. I believe she thinks I am gay. I looked very gay when we met haha. But we haven't talked about serious things like that.
     
  9. Kay

    Kay Guest

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2012
    Messages:
    943
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    If she is lesbian and you are hanging out with her she may well have the idea you are as well. It may well be true and she is correct about you. You have to test the water and see who you are. It may require some self-examination. You may have to consider what you are looking for. Since you are asking advice i have to think you are at least interested in a female to female relationship.
    If you seriously think you have feelings for this woman tell her that and see what happens. She may be your soul mate and make you happier than you have every been. You will never know if you don't try.
     
  10. always true

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    she seemed to lose interest. off to the next