I've suffered from anxiety issues in the past with the way I look. I've heard both ends from people about my looks, that I am beautiful (for a boy) and that I am ugly or awkward looking. I still have issues now, but i'm much more disciplined and I'm able to talk myself down. The part that gets to me is that it's flippant, and no matter what the feeling I have at the moment, it never stays for long. I thought BDD was a 'round-the-clock disorder, that the person can't help but feel negative, constantly. It's only true most of the time for me however, and I do get small perks in my attitude towards myself. Is this something that i'm making in my head? I'm very confused and I hope someone understands what i'm saying.
BDD is something that I have struggled with for most of my life, too. I have a pot belly and, while I work out, it's still there. I was harrassed by a schizoid mother, siblings, neighborhood and school kids for being a "Pugsly" boy. I've made a lot of progress along the way, but it still occurs in milder episodes. If this makes any sense, I learned to project the pain of being rejected like that onto my stomach, especially. I ended-up punishing myself like I was punished (repeating the past's messages). I would never be loveable until I was purged of it. For the record, my mother was over 300 lbs. She was nuts in that respect. I don't have any quick answers. It's a very real issue and can greatly disrupt the chances we have of being loved (no matter by whom). I recommend finding a good therapist for some help. Groups may be available in your region, too. Please know that you're not alone, though. Many persons struggle with this, and many don't even realize that they're suffering with it. You're beautiful inside and out no matter what anyone says.
l have a pretty severe mind-body disconnect. l think that contributes to BDD in some cases. For me, l once had an ED and the way l see myself(or don't actually see myself)played a role. Now l think l'm sexy, although l still don't necessarily see what's in front of me and if l do it doesn't match what l feel like. Like l sometimes feel like a weird, awkward male in a cute young woman's body. But honestly, it just doesn't bother me anymore. My point is, l don't think the underlying reasons for BDD (which IMO is being disconnected from yourself in an unusal way) can be changed. Hardwired. l DO think you can gain some self esteem and that you will feel awesome when you do.
Most of my social anxiety stems from my looks and inferior complex. I don't think I have BDD, because I know I'm not good looking, but I don't obsess about it. I actually don't really know what the criteria for BD is. I've had people say I'm the ugliest thing on the planet to people saying I'm adorable so I don't even know what's right or wrong at this point. But what you're saying makes sense. I don't focus on my looks all the time and sometimes I feel pretty confident about myself, but it's almost bipolar how it goes for me. I know there's specific therapy for BD, but again, I don't know anything about it.. really. I always thought it was characterized as when a person focuses on a flaw they hate so much that it almost becomes distorted reality? Like they make flaws out to be bigger than they are.
:***: No, I agree. Half the time I look in the mirror i'm usually fatigued emotionally. I never feel that great, and even when I do it catches me off guard and I never fully appreciated what I had. My parents used to drill it in my head that i'm very beautiful, but I never really accepted it or believed it. I don't have any idea why... It doesn't help that i've been picked on for looking strange. ---------- Post added 24th Jan 2013 at 04:34 PM ---------- You're thinking about Bipolar Disorder (BD) x'D ... and I don't think i've ever heard of ED, that isn't a personal problem is it?? LOL j/k
just by accident. ---------- Post added 24th Jan 2013 at 04:46 PM ---------- @OMGWTFZOMBIE: I know what you mean about the gender appearance thing. I'm not really gender confused, but my appearance confuses me a lot. It might be half of my problem. ---------- Post added 24th Jan 2013 at 04:49 PM ---------- It sounds more like you have a general body image disorder like anorexia, except I don't know if you starve yourself/ purge. BDD affects more the way your face looks in the mirror, but of course it can be what you describe as well, it's just not as common. I really should go back to see my therapist again...
Yea ITA lol. l won't go into detail but will say it's something like gender dyspohira, if not a very mild case of it. But anyway it mostly just makes us awesome ^_^
