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I know not to listen

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Bzrk, Jan 16, 2013.

  1. Bzrk

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    When someone says "im not homophobic but"
    You just know the next part of that sentence is going to be offencive. How do you cope with that? I try to stop listening but my curiosity gets the better of me. What do you think I should do to not just scream at them :tantrum:
     
  2. Shadowsettler

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    I'm a bit rude, so I just stop them and tell them 'don't bother finishing'. lol. I'm not one for debating with people.

    also, Hi. : ]
     
    #2 Shadowsettler, Jan 16, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2013
  3. Dalmatian

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    Heh, it gets on my nerves, sure. I think that people should understand that not being intolerant isn't something you should declare. I mean, whoever feels the need to say "I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic/whatever" is triggering off my alarms on being exactly that.

    On the other hand, I like seeing how the rest of that sentence changes with time. In my country, first they were saying it's sick and we should all be dealt with (idiots would murder, quasi-intellectuals would heal). Now the prevalent opinion is "do what you want, don't mention it", which is a huge step forward. But it's already shifting to "leave people alone, hate can not be tolerated"; it's not quite there yet, but the zeitgeist is showing some tendencies in that direction :slight_smile: The funny thing is that this happened as a result of extremists being so extreme to make moderates want to distance themselves :grin:

    Funny little homophobes. So lost and confused :slight_smile:
     
  4. mothcaterpillar

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    Its just specific versions of "no offence but ..." I think you should listen and then be sure to point out that what they are saying is wrong and hurtful
     
  5. justinf

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    Well, at least if they say that it means they don't want to be homophobic, whether they are or not. Which is a good thing, I think.
     
  6. 4AllEternity

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    I hear them out. It's my personal belief that the best way to combat homophobia is to show homophobes that A) The stereotypes don't universally apply. B) I'm approachable, and am open to discussing my feelings about my sexuality. Though I don't believe that it's justifiable to be hateful, I have found that the best response is too engage them in discussion, rather than ignoring them or being rude back.

    I know a guy who's very smart, but also very Christian. He's a great guy in many ways, but he is distinctly homophobic. However, despite our differences, we often debate various sides of topics surrounding the issue, and I think that being able to openly say the things he believes and see a positive response from me has reduced his homophobia somewhat. He's willing to actually discuss and sometimes concede certain views, rather than just being directly hateful. We definitely have a certain respect for each other, though we're not exactly friends. Sort of like congenial enemies ^_^