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We Broke Up :/

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by mine, Jan 16, 2013.

  1. mine

    Regular Member

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    Hey All,

    A few months ago I told my best friend, I loved her and she responded that she loved me too. I thought it was everything I could ever want, it felt like the perfect life that I'd always wanted. Until today, she told me that she couldn't be with me anymore because she still believes she prefers to be with a man.

    I know this feeling will pass and that I'll eventually get over her but how the hell do I get over it? Where do I start? I've been in love with her for five years, so I don't know what it's like to love anyone else. There's not a big gay or lesbian community where I live and it's not easy to just pick up and move. I'm kind of at a loss right now and I know I'm probably being over dramatic. Lol. I just need some advise ... anyone been through this before? Could someone find my confidence and self love? I think she took it with her. :/

    Thanks!
     
  2. its still new. its going to hurt. if youre still in love with her, be away from her as much as you can being around her will hurt more. sort of like putting a bag of chocolate in front of someone who reeeally wants it and saying 'no you cant eat it just look'.

    distract yourself. write down your feelings.
    its okay to cry/be sad over her, dont be like 'no i have to be strong' let you feel your feelings. watch funny movies, maybe take up a new hobby, key is to distract yourself. volunteer at a place where they need volunteers.

    dont go looking for someone else to take the pain away, it wont work. well it hardly does. it will end in tears and the other person will end up hurt. take your time to get over her, there isnt a rush. everyone is different. it might take you 5 weeks, it might take 5 months. everyone is different. (*hug*)
     
  3. Rexmond

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    I have fallen in love with a man for 2 years (and still am) and I know exactly how it feels to imagine having everything we could have asked for in just this one person. It's not the same as your situation, he doesn't know how I truly feel about him - but it would cause too many problems If I were to let him know. This upsets me greatly, and honestly there's not a lot I can do to get over it. If I'm at school I just hang with a couple of friends, talking about hobbies/school, and sometimes social life can keep you distracted. When I'm at home I don't stop thinking about him unless my mind is set on other things (e.g Skype, games, homework etc.).

    As hard as it may seem the best thing to do is to move on. I really need to take my own advice but I don't want to yet. Maybe you should give your friend some time to think about her sexuality. You could maybe help her.
     
  4. WinterIsComing

    Regular Member

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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My first ever girlfriend when I was 15/16 did this exact thing to me and not just once but twice! She told me she wanted to be with me and we hooked up and then she broke my heart and told me it was a mistake and she wasn't into girls. I felt such pain inside that I had finally found somebody that I liked that liked me back and it was all gone so fast. It was very difficult but I spent a lot of time with my family and friends and put a lot of time into my passion of music and I eventually managed to become friends with her again. About a year after we first hooked up she told me she was confused because what she said before wasn't true and that she was into me but she was scared of being found out as a lesbian. I told her I wouldn't go there with her again because of how she hurt me before. She said that she was sorry and she was ready for the relationship now and that she promised never to do that to me again. It was a great relationship for some time but you can probably guess that she hurt me all over again, hooking up with one of my friends. She actually seemed pretty sorry and I think she did love me but her Dad was pretty homophobic and she was terrified of disappointing him. The second time we broke up was the worst. I had such a terrible feeling inside me that I had never felt before. All I can say is that it gets much better with time. I have had other relationships since then and I'm happy, living with my current girlfriend. Time is the only real answer, but putting yourself into your friends, passion or family will help speed it along. Everyone is different but I tried not to wallow too much because it started to effect my studies. Hope you can feel better soon.